Is McDonalds still hiring?

Hey, might as well include a little of the dialogue I'm having with this guy. Here is my actual response earlier today to the news that he pays 3.5 cents per word for newspaper stories:

"I could make more money working at McDonalds. You have to be fucking
kidding. I went to college for four years, and you're going to pay me
$17.50 for a 500-word article? That's insulting."

Now, it gets better. Here's his response. Notice at the end that he provides information on jobs at local McDonalds restaurants. I nearly fainted I was laughing so hard.
Here it is:

"Let me first start by saying, there is absolutely no reason to use such
language, and such use says a lot about your professionalism. Regardless of
your educational merit or background, we are a new paper, and the offer is
for freelance work, not a full-time position. This is an opportunity for
seasoned writers and college journalists alike to see their writing in
print. A true writer is just that, a writer. More concerned about getting
their message across to their viewer, rather than the rate of pay they
receive for conveying their message.

As for our rates, again I must reiterate the fact that this is a small
circulation community free publication. When determining the rates for which
we are going to pay our freelance writing staff, we took into account many
factors, including population, circulation, and availabilities of both
writers and content. We are prepared to offer our freelancers up to .085,
however, that doesn't even seem to be in line for your standards.

If you would like to make a career out of writing, rather than providing a
valuable resource to your community, while making a reasonable fee for the
work you provide, I suggest contacting the New York Times H/R department for
available positions. Then again, as you suggested, you could always apply at
McDonalds. I have taken the liberty of locating available positions in your
area. They can be found at http://www.mcdonalds.com/usa/work.html

Thank you for your consideration,
Tristan Hanscom, Publisher
The Seminole Free Grove

 

Well, I've never been shy of using salty language, but I think I'd hold off on using it with a potential employer.

Probably a better idea would have been to check out the stringer market in the reasonably-immediate area, see if you can find someone paying $50-$75 a story (which shouldn't be too hard).

And a quick run-through of the math for him: a writer writing two 500-word stories a day for him, every day, 6 days a week for 52 weeks of the year, would make a grand total of $10,920.00. People simply cannot live on that.

If he wants to restrict his potential writing pool to bored housewives and 30-year-old slackers living in their parents' basement, he might get somebody to bite. If he ever wants to attract any actual professionals, forget it -- they'll all be working at McDonald's.

 

Yeah, Tristan, a true (insert profession) doesn't care at all about pay. A True Mechanic would be fine with 20 bucks for an engine overhaul, a True Psychiatrist is fine with 3 bucks an hour. And a True Yankee would be fine to play for the glory of the game, not for 25 million a year.

 

Dear Tristan Hanscom, Publisher
The Seminole Free Grove

I hear Jenn Sterger is looking for work.

Peace out,

Lono

 

Playing devil's advocate for a second, the "are you fucking serious" approach probably wasn't the wisest one to take, even if you never considered taking the job. A start-up looking for freelancers isn't going to pay shit. Yeah, 3.5 cents a word is pretty bad even by start-up standards, but they're not going to pay $75 per story either. And they'll probably be done by this time next year. He's going to lose his shirt, whether he can attract anyone or not.

 

This guy must have some seriously good weed.

The problem is, there are people who will jump all over what he is offering because they (a) don't know any better and lower the standard for everyone and (b) believe anyone can write and some editors, like yo' boy Tristan, will hire them.

 

Sorry, but I take his side on this one. What are you thinking dropping f-bombs? Dude, that's uncalled for no matter how insulting their offer is. He'll find people that will jump at the opportunity to get paid to write. Yeah, their stuff will be horrible, but they'll give him enough copy to get a paper out. So they can't afford your genius, that doesn't mean you have to get nasty with him.

 

At that rate, they can't afford RokSki2.

 

What kind of dude is named Tristan???

 

Tristan Hanscom? That's probably just a fictitious name given by this embarassed "publisher" seeking free-lancers. Wait a minute . . . Tristan Hanscom? Isn't that the character Brad Pitt played in "Legends of the Fall" with Anthony Hopkins?

 

Seminole Grove Publishing. For some reason, I hear that and see them putting out things like the Boca Breeze (Pinko Commie rag!).

As for Tristan Hanscom, google search shows he was "a spokesman for a gay group called End the Hate."