Is It Wrong to Avoid Handing Out Halloween Candy??

I respect that candy is sincere.
It doesn't pretend to be healthy.
It says 'Fart, I am here for your pleasure, I am just here to be a little bon-bon for your gratification.
'I'm not trying to provide you fiber or nutritional value or save your life or perform anything redeeming.'
That doesn't mean I don't have concerns for 9-year-old kids verging on Type 2 diabetes mellitus.

 

Dammit, Fart, I tried to TELL them you had concerns for 9-year-olds verging on Type 2 diabetes mellitus.

And they tried to tell me no, Fart only cares about eating his own Halloween candy.

I feel vindicated.

 

Those aren't trick-or-treaters. Those are muggers.

 

Few years ago my wife went all out on the candy.
We were going to treat the kids right, help Halloween be for others the vivid childhood experience it needs to be.
I had a few drinks after a long workday and came home and must have demolished a good half of it.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fart was in the shithouse for at least a week.
I still get grief over that.

 

should clear the porch post haste...

 

Why would you say no to someone who needs to use your bathroom?

 

Why would he let a complete stranger into his house?

 

My front door is back a ways from the "front" of the house because it's one of those ugly, cookie-cutter houses with the garage out front, dominating the view, making it look like I live in a garage without a house.

Anyway, I park myself in a lawn chair in front of the garage. I can run an extension cord for a few spooky lights and a small CD player with some scary music/sound effects. Beats having to get up multiple times to answer the door and fight with the dogs, who always head to the door because they equate ringing doorbell/knocking to the arrival of the pizza man. Damn dogs.