Is it worth it? Marriage/job question

I love my job. They treat me well and it's in relatively good financial shape. It's also reasonably close to family - which my wife loves.

I wasn't even thinking of looking elsewhere until I found out tonight there's an opening at my dream paper, which is several times larger than the one I'm at now.

I had been considered before at this place when I was much younger but now I hear there's an opening that pretty much matches my skill level and what I would like to do. I also have some contacts within the organization.

The problem is it's far from here and, even though it's in the same geographical region, I don't think my wife would appreciate the move. We would be hours and hours away from any family, especially hers.

Is it fair to the newspaper or my wife if I apply?

Obviously my wife and I would have to have a long talk about it, but it seems like that should wait until after I get an interview - and that's a huge IF. This isn't a sure thing. Not even close.

So while I may be jumping the gun with this, I just worry that I might be asking for trouble if I apply and something does come of it.

Tell me what you would do.

 

Ummm ... I'm guessing you should talk with your wife BEFORE you get an interview. But maybe that's just me.

 

A job is never more important than your wife and/or family. Never.

 

I wouldn't wait until after you've gotten an interview to have that long talk with your wife. I'd have that before I even sent the resume.
Explain that it's your dream job, something you've always wanted. See if she's willing to go for it.

Better to discuss it now, rather than having to disappoint yourself and the newspaper later on if you get offered the job and find out she absolutely won't move.

 

I know and I will, but there's some pitfalls to that. If she says no, I'll never know.

 

And if she finds out you were making moves without talking to her, not knowing is the least of your problems.

 

Nah, I would tell her before I sent anything. I didn't mean to be unclear, but that's not the issue. It's whether I should put off the BIG talk before we hear anything.

 

When I got out of college, I told my fiancee (we've been engaged for three years, so fuck it, she might as well be my wife.) that this is what I wanted to do, and explained all the annoyances and pitfalls that would result. She was really understanding, and agreed to move with me where ever I ended up getting a job and finding a place in town. Long story short, I got my first job about 2 1/2 months ago 400 miles away from any sort of "home" and she absolutely loathes it here, but is sticking it out with me because she knows it makes me happy.

Basically, talk that shit over before you even send a resume. You'd be surprised at how accommodating people are when they love someone.

 

She was willing to move with me a very long distance when I was a finalist for another job way back when. We weren't even married yet. But now we have kids so it's different.

 

Anyway, I think you all are right. We'll have The Talk tomorrow, though it will feel awfully premature.

 

Best of luck with that. Hope everything works out.