'Is it ever OK to spank a child?'

The number of times I was spanked as a kid I could count on the fingers of one hand (not including thumbs). Each time it was for really bad shit, stuff that might have put my own life or other family members in danger (playing with matches or light sockets).

I DESERVED to be spanked many many more times. My parents used the THREAT of spanking as the nuclear weapon to keep me in line.

I kidded my dad a few times about it decades later. "I can't understand why you didn't spank me about once a week," I said, and my dad said, "rest assured, the thought did cross our minds."

Also they used peer pressure and the pressure of responsibility on me to get me to settle down. With 4 siblings, with 3 a decade or more younger, they said, "you've got to set an example for the younger kids," and for the most part I did.

My sister has 5 kids and to my knowledge they have never spanked any of them. They use time-outs and privilege suspension as punishments although to my knowledge the kids have been astonishingly well-behaved.

 

I'm way less bothered by the actual spanking of children than by the fact that few seem to understand that your kid turning out fine with spanking is meaningless without a control version of your kid who wasn't spanked to compare him to.

 

Knew this one was coming. Really. Scroll up and look at my response to Rick a few posts above it.

JR thinks his kids turned out great, so that suddenly makes him the expert on parenting every child on Earth. Remember when Nuke intentionally mixes up arrogance and ignorance near the end of Bull Durham? Here we've got JR showing off both.

 

Proverbs 13:24

King James Version (KJV)

24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

 

This means nothing to me.

 

My sister not only refused to spank her kids, but she also didn't have her son circumcised.

Now that he's 20, I've been meaning to ask him how that dick is working out for him.

Wonder if the young ladies like that thing.

So far, the kid hasn't turned into the ax murderer that I expected.

 

Is this your sister?

 

No, thankfully no.

But a coworker's wife did that placenta eating thing, because it is rich in nutrients. It takes a lot to gross me out, but that succeeded.

 

I'm constantly surprised at how big of an issue this is, but I think it's in part because people can't seem to differentiate between a swat on the butt to get someone's attention and make sure it doesn't happen again, and what my neighbor used to get...

"Go pick out a belt from daddy's room and if you don't pick a good one, I'll pick and I assure you son, you don't want me to pick..."

I've seen parents slap their child's face in the grocery store. I have relatives and in-laws who love to hold up the wooden spoon that they used to beat their children with, and that disturbs the fuck out of me.

I have two kids and I spanked the older one about three months ago when he pushed the younger one off the couch, while they were dancing on it. I swatted him on his butt (not hard) and then said, "Do you remember when we had to take you to the ER to get staples in your head? Do you want that to happen to your brother?"

He cried more from me saying that to him than he did when I swatted him.

That's probably the only time in the last year that I swatted either one of them.

 

And costs less than a buck!

 

We had this discussion with our pediatrician when my wife was pregnant with our first.

She said, "The biggest problem with spanking is that for people who go to it regularly, it loses it's effectiveness. If you use it in a rare, and extreme case, it can be tremendously effective." She also emphasized that spanking should NEVER be done to try to hurt the child.

 

My wife's sister and her husband don't spank their kids. Her husband's dad used to beat the shit out of him and that's their own reaction to that. I don't think it's a "He's worried he would do the same..." type deal. He's just not the type.