Is doing what everyone thought you would do enough reason to stay w/this?

that pretty much describes me, too. I'm not so much worried about being without a job if this all falls apart. I'm more worried about not having the only job I've ever wanted.

 

What's your secret? Seriously.

I'm glad this thread generated some responses; I was worried this would wither on the vine and I'd just be some egomaniacal jamoke yammering on about my little crisis. Maybe I am, but it's good to know other people are sorting thru the same emotions. And I understand completely those who say I am not my job (or lack thereof)...I get that, I really do. But no matter what I do, I can't disassociate myself from it. I wish I could, but I can't.

I also totally get that I'll never stop writing. I can always BLOG!!!! (oh, sweet, sweet irony), but I want more than that. I don't want to be just a guy who works some 9-5 gig and blogs on the side. Can't I write and work some 9-5 gig on the side? I'd be happy with that. Thrilled, even.

I got a really timely and appropriate note from someone today that has me more inspired and determined than ever to make this work (for now, at least, come back to me on Tuesday and see how I feel). It was one of those friends whom I've reconnected with via Facebook. In swapping "hey how the hell have you been" messages, I mentioned to her that I'd forgotten she tried her hand at writing at a group of weeklies near our hometown and that she was the smart one getting out when she did back in like '97 or so.

I won't quote the whole thing, b/c that'd be a little look-at-me even for a guy with 920,992 posts on a message board, but she said that I was the smart one and that if she could have picked the best writing talent in our school, she would have picked me in a heartbeat b/c I could write about sports and make it interesting to her even though she hates sports. That really made me feel good, to know someone I've known since kindergarten thinks that much of me, and it's more proof I NEED to find a way to keep doing this...somehow, someway.

 

I'm happy you got some much-needed clarity.

As for my secret, it's not a sure thing yet, but I'm working on it!

 

See, the only difference I can find here is one of perception. So perhaps you should change yours?