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Interesting encounter

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Buck, Nov 24, 2006.

  1. Pancamo

    Pancamo Active Member

    What the hell is a taco truck? Diarrhea on wheels?
  2. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    It's kind of like, are those bacon-wrapped hot dogs in Tiajuana really hot dogs? I ate plenty, and they sure as hell tasted like hot dogs.
  3. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    I'm accustomed to drunk-stoned-crazy people. They are drawn to me, for some reason.
  4. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    There's a taco truck a couple of towns north of here that is so good I make up reasons to drive through that town. The first time I ate the carnitas there, my knees buckled. It's ridiculous.
    They've got the buche, lengua, tripas, cabeza, you name it, but their carnitas is the best in the history of the pig.
  5. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Exactly what I thought.

    I thought the last line might be "...and I am dictating this from my hospital bed because I'm in a body cast and the only thing I can move is my lips, and it hurts so much to do so."

    But then I thought, hey, it's Buck and everyone likes Buck, even doped-up crackheads tripping out on what's left of Emily Valentine's stash.
  6. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    This absolutely happened to me, but much more exotic, on the longest and weirdest day of my professional life, so far.

    After a three hour breakfast with Don King at the Westwood Marquis, during which I uttered three words ('Hmm,' 'really,' and 'ummm,'), I got on the elevator to depart for an unrelated meeting with the then-ubiquitous Cathy Lee Crosby as a favor to my then-friend Joe Theismann. Also on the elevator was a man (okay, a freak) with long bleached blond hair, zebra striped pants, and dark black eyeliner smeared down to his cheeks. I am on an elevator with Ozzie Osbourne, pre-mtv, mid-dove-biting era.

    Suddenly elevator stops--between floors. 'FUCK ME!' yells Ozzie, more of a curse than a command. For five minutes that seemed like five days, we talked about shoes and shampoo. He was not pleased with the shampoo in the hotel. He did not know Don King or Cathy Lee. He really liked my shoes. I still have them.

    I was an hour late for my meeting with Cathy Lee, who sealed the day by lifting her shirt and showing me her breasts.

    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share this. I have no idea what this thread is about.
  7. BYH

    BYH Active Member

  8. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Damn, trumped again.
    If only I'd met Ozzie at the taco truck.
  9. Boom_70

    Boom_70 Well-Known Member

    Buck you should have asked him where he got his cheese. Maybe it was a special home made goat cheese.

    Next time you go back to that stand bring cheese wiz and ask them to use .
  10. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    I've been living in and around the barrio for quite a while, but at first I thought 'I gave her the cheese' might be some ghetto/barrio slang with which I was unfamiliar.
  11. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    We've got a tacqueria around the coner from the office. It's not my favorite tacqueria in town, but I eat there often because of the convenience and because the guy who owns it is very nice. He gave me a free pulparindo the other day.
    Anyway, his wife is so mean we call her the Taco Nazi.
    Once, I got my food, gave her a little wave and said 'Gracias. Buenos Dias.'
    She just scowled at me and pointed at the door.
    Another time, I was in there and I ordered carnitas.
    She barked at me: 'No carnitas!'
    It was the third time in a row they were out of carnitas, so I put my hands up kind of playfully and said 'Otro vez?'
    She put her hands on her hips and yelled at me: 'No!'
  12. HeinekenMan

    HeinekenMan Active Member

    Hopefully, he kept your two quarters and used them to buy a condom. The last thing we need is another one of whatever's wrong with this guy.

    That aside, it brings up a few stories. SIU alums will appreciate this. There's a little sidewalk that goes past a creek and behind the buildings on the main bar drag in Carbondale. It's somewhat famous for being a great place for thugs to jump drunk dudes and steal whatever they have of value. One night, I'm walking home with a bud when he says he saw someone crouched in the grass 50 feet ahead. Immediately, I begin wailing: "Hey, we saw you. If you come over here you fucker, we're going to beat you to a pulp. etc., etc."

    I walk directly to where my friend spotted the person, still rattling off fiery words. Finally, a dude stands up. He's soaking wet from head to toe and he's a muddy mess. Apparently, this guy was so drunk that he passed out and rolled into the creek and had to crawl back up the muddy enbankment. When we spotted him, he had finally secured a nice nest in the grass and plopped down again.

    He was so friggin' scared of us that he somehow managed to stand up and blurt out some slurred words.

    My other story involves a visit to Carbondale a few years later. I stayed with a friend, who had classes to attend. While he was out, I went on a daytime drinking adventure with my friend's neighbor. I had been introduced the previous night, and the guy seemed fairly normal. By the late afternoon hours, however, things began to spin out of control. This followed the purchase of a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. The guy downs almost half of the bottle within a few blocks. Then he announces that the house on the corner is his old place. Apparently, his roommates kicked him out. Then he says he wants to go up to the door. So I follow him as he punches out the glass in the front door. Of course, this causes him to cut his arm, but it's nothing serious. So he takes off his T-shirt and wraps it around his forearm. At this point, I'm ready to bolt, but I'm also fearful that this lunatic is going to flip on me if I give him any static. I did manage to convince him that we might want to get off the streets. Twenty minutes later, I was back in my friend's apartment, where I learned that "Oh ya, he's a little crazy."
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