Insert amputee joke here........

Chef's not sick, but he's not well.

 

Chef, I almost joined you in a near-amputee incident. I had taken a nap and woke up with a strong desire for a Fresca (should have been my first warning). I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and KABLAM! I'm not even really sure what happened. The only thing I know is I looked down to the floor and there was a pie upside down, a diet pepsi and a broken butter dish. I was just thinking of the mess I had to clean up, nothing else. Then I saw blood on the floor. I was thinking, WTF? Then I looked down and realized it was coming from me. Apparently, part of the butter dish had managed to stab me in the foot. I knew something had hit my foot when it all fell out, but I didn't think it was bad enough for me to be a part of the damage report. It took forever to get it to stop bleeding. All this and I didn't have a 12-pack of anything, unless you want to count the Fresca.

 

I blame soccer.

 

I've probably lost every nail on both hands except maybe one.

They turn black, fall off and a new one grows. The new ones are a little more rounded than the originals, which is how I can tell how many times I've lost each one.

Trying to lift large rocks, jammed in car doors, etc. You name it and I've done it -- all before age 10.

 

Chef is Harvey Danger?

 

do you have range of motion in your finger?

 

Wanna blow Chef's mind? Ask him to count to nineteen.

 

yes

 

Very good.

 

Chef couldn't do that in the first place.

 

ok, if you've got full range of motion, then major fractures and ligament damage are probably not the issue.

so just keep it dressed, maintain the pain killers, drink lots of fluids, and expect the nail to fall off on its own.

send my usual fee to my paypal account.

 

Upon further inspection, the finger appears to be healing quite nicely.

Here, take a look mikey.