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Insert amputee joke here........

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Chef, Dec 26, 2008.

  1. Chef

    Chef Active Member

    First of all, screw the toe.

    About one hour ago, a (roughly) 400 pound electric motor got placed on the fingernail of my middle finger on my right hand.

    Blood everywhere.

    I have it tightly wrapped in two bandaids right now.

    Do I leave it alone, and let the fingernail fall off.........remove the fingernail.....go to a doctor (shut up)

    The nail didn't break or crack, and there is no pressure underneath, but somamabitch, does it hurt.

    Took 1500 mg of Bayer......

    Help a chef out here, por favor.
  2. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    That nail will fall off eventually. Might not hurt to get some x-rays or something. I've lost both nails on my middle finger in the past, and they come back feeling slightly differently than the rest for some reason. At least if you bite your nails like I do.
  3. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Dude, I hope your typing with one hand.

    Go to the ER. Better to be safe than sorry.
  4. kingcreole

    kingcreole Active Member

    Chef, you're my boy and all, but I have to ask you a question:

    What the hell is your problem?
  5. Chef

    Chef Active Member


    As long as you've known me, you know that I've never been the most graceful of cats.

    But, I assure you, I was not trying to drop a fucking motor on my finger.

    It took one punch of the k key to realize that this finger is NSFT right now. (Not safe for typing)
  6. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member


    This would only happen to you. It's the holidays. Crack open a beer, and prepare for the Motor City Bowl.
  7. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    This is like reading Boots... different problems, but in the end someone gets screwed
  8. Dickens Cider

    Dickens Cider New Member

    At this rate, Chef has a bright future as the next drummer for Def Leppard.
  9. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Or he could be the Ronnie Lott of sportswriters.
  10. Chef

    Chef Active Member

    update: finger is throbbing like a wedding night cock.

    off to buy lots of beer.
  11. Oggiedoggie

    Oggiedoggie Well-Known Member

    Good Lord, man.

    Quit drinking while you still have most of your digits.
  12. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    Some advice -- let the injured finger be the only one sticking up when you show your boss the injury
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