1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

In which a columnist recounts his son's sudden death

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by TigerVols, Mar 15, 2018.

Page 1 of 2
  1. TigerVols

    TigerVols Well-Known Member

    TigerVols, Mar 15, 2018
    #1
  2. Slacker

    Slacker Well-Known Member

    What a read. And the headline is just the right touch.
     
    Slacker, Mar 15, 2018
    #2
  3. MileHigh

    MileHigh Moderator Staff Member

    A tough, emotional read. I just sent him an email because it was six months ago today that I was in his same position when my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew died in a plane crash in Colorado. (Actually, tomorrow when we found out, but today is the anniversary of the crash.)

    Very similar situations. A completely out-of-the-blue, you've got to be fucking kidding me situation. It's like a nuclear bomb goes off and the survivors are rummaging around wondering what the hell happened.

    People saying the same things that he mentioned that were said to myself and my family.

    We're sorry. What can we do? What do you need? There are no words. Anything you need.

    I said it at the time, what you can do is check on my parents or myself or others in three months. In four. Any random day. When we've all scattered from the funeral service and gone back to living our lives.

    There is no playbook for how to handle these situations unless you've lived through them. None.

    I lived through it first-hand -- times four. Sure, as time goes by you adapt and you go on with your life. You have to.

    But there's not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of them. That hasn't changed after six months. It won't change after six years. Or 60 years.
     
    MileHigh, Mar 15, 2018
    #3
    swingline, Batman, studthug12 and 14 others like this.
  4. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    This is something you read, that you want to comment on. Only, you don't know what to say. I don't, either.
     
    WriteThinking, Mar 17, 2018
    #4
  5. maumann

    maumann Well-Known Member

    Sunday at the Masters will mean something different this time. Last year, my wife was complaining about having the flu and chills while she and I watched Jordan Speith's struggles. Less than 12 hours later, after an ambulance ride to the hospital emergency room, she had eight different IVs stuck in her as doctors fought to save her life. Turns out it was pneumonia with sepsis, and she came "within a coin flip," according to our primary care physician, of not making it to her 59th birthday.

    While she was on life support, I spent 10 nights on a recliner in ICU, cleaning her breathing tube, notifying the nurses when her medication was due and discussing some very scary options with the doctor on rounds, because at first, they couldn't identify the bacteria or virus that was attacking her body. After 10 days on the ventilator, we took a chance -- as the doctor said that morning, "It's time to fish or cut bait" -- and pulled out her breathing tube. She was on her own and I coached her for the next hour on how to breathe without hyperventilating and messing up her CO2. She stayed up all night, watching the monitor because if her oxygen level fell back below 80 percent, she knew the next option was getting a treacheostomy.

    She made it, improved very quickly and four days later, we were home. But she barely had the strength to make it up the seven steps to our cabin before collapsing from the effort. Eleven months later, she's back at work and looks 100 percent, but there's lung and kidney damage that may be permanent. But she's alive.

    And I'm all too aware it could have ended up like what Chris Erskine or Mile High experienced, and there's nothing anyone can say to lessen the shock and pain. There are no guarantees. We're truly all "day to day."
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
    maumann, Mar 17, 2018
    #5
    swingline, Double Down, cjericho and 10 others like this.
  6. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    Posts like those in this thread are why I often say, to myself and others, that I have no complaints. Life has been good, and I appreciate it, more and more all the time.
     
    WriteThinking, Mar 17, 2018
    #6
    cjericho, maumann and Vombatus like this.
  7. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Life is both a miracle and very fragile.
     
    Vombatus, Mar 17, 2018
    #7
    QYFW and maumann like this.
  8. MileHigh

    MileHigh Moderator Staff Member

    Honestly, there are no words. You just need to be there. Cliche, yes. But there are times when those directly involved are on the edge and they just need someone to reach out.

    I've talked with a couple of people and gotten some good guidance on how to handle this bunch of crap. It's helped. But it's not easy. I'd like to think I'm in at least an OK place. Sometimes I wonder.

    I've been very lucky. And unlucky, maybe. I have a large family that I can reach out to, though I've been more inclined to be the protector, especially when it comes to my parents and to make sure they are in a good place. Same with my siblings. And I'm good at putting up a good front.

    But since my sister and brother-and-law decided I was the "right" person to be the personal representative of their estates, I've had to be in the middle of the road and hear good, bad and ugly and be the one to be leaned on. And that's fine. Not easy, but they entrusted me with it.

    The good days and bad days are divided. Time helps with some things. But that day, that moment will be with me every day until I pass.
     
    MileHigh, Mar 17, 2018
    #8
    Dick Whitman, Dyno, Big Circus and 5 others like this.
  9. TigerVols

    TigerVols Well-Known Member

    TigerVols, Dec 11, 2018
    #9
  10. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Sonuvabitch, two of these pieces in nine months. Hug your spouse and kids every day.
     
    playthrough, Dec 11, 2018
    #10
    studthug12 likes this.
  11. MileHigh

    MileHigh Moderator Staff Member

    God damnit.
     
    MileHigh, Dec 11, 2018
    #11
  12. maumann

    maumann Well-Known Member

    To write so eloquently in such an emotional state bears witness to his talent and love under cruel conditions. Until Posh, Christoper and Chris meet again, God bless.
     
    maumann, Dec 12, 2018
    #12
Page 1 of 2
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page