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"In lieu of flowers ..."

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Dick Whitman, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. Dick Whitman

    Dick Whitman Well-Known Member

    My friend's father-in-law recently died.

    This is in the obituary:

    "In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be given to the family."

    Does this seem strange or inappropriate to anyone? I can't go to the service or funeral because of work obligations, but immediately sent a sympathy card this weekend when I found out he had died. I went to the obituary today to see where I could possibly send a charitable donation. But I feel odd just cutting a check to the family (which I presume means his mother-in-law).

  2. Uncle.Ruckus

    Uncle.Ruckus Guest

    I've seen people request charitable donations in lieu of flowers, but never a direct appeal for money. That's just weird.
  3. Matt1735

    Matt1735 Well-Known Member

    It is definitely different, but it's possible the family doesn't have any money at all, for the funeral expenses or even to get by on.
  4. Funerals ain't cheap.

    Why not kick a few bucks to the family (depending on financial situation) instead of wasting money on wheat spray and baby's breath?
  5. Small Town Guy

    Small Town Guy Well-Known Member

    I just saw this on an obit of a young father with little kids. Haven't seen it often and I guess it can seem strange, but the end result, if the money is going to help children or is desperately needed, it makes a ton more sense to me to just do it this way so don't have any problem with it. I guess when it's older folks it could seem a little tougher to take though.
  6. I Should Coco

    I Should Coco Well-Known Member

    Back in the stone ages of smaller community newspapers printing free obits, we were forbidden from using the phrase "in lieu of flowers" as a nod to the florists who advertised with us. So in this case, we would have simply said, "Memorials may be made to the family."

    Didn't seem like a big deal ... but now that I'm reaching the age where I attend more funerals than weddings, I can see why the families want the donations to charity and NO flowers.
  7. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    I'd assume the family needed help with funeral expenses.

    I only seen requests for charitable donations, usually to a cause or nonprofit supported by the deceased or in which the deceased had an interest.
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