In-law season!

I've always got along fine with my in-law, but unfortunately it's only one now that my wife's mom died recently. The biggest adjustment for me (and this was before we had kids) was that they are very conservative and frown upon alcohol use or cursing. The first, I dealt with fine. The second took some doing to catch myself early-on. The toughest was when I was at the in-laws house watching a game involving a team that I'm passionate about. It was hard not to blurt out a curse word when something bad happened or one of my team's players did something stupid. Since we've had kids, I've worked hard on not cursing and do a good job with it.

 

i don't have a father in law because my wife's dad died when she was a kid. from what i know of the guy, i doubt he would have liked me.

that said, i don't think that makes me lucky. that's because i know after my wife spends time with my extended family, she wishes more than anything on earth that she could have a similar type of family gathering.

 

Just one week away from time spent with the in-laws.

 

Ahh the children make all the difference. Grandkids make up for a lot of percieved "shortcomings" on either side.

I am very lucky. My wifes parents divorced years ago and all still lived in the same area. This caused some stress during the holidays early in our marriage because we tried to get to all the houses (my parents as well). After a few years though, even she began to agree that ones side of her family was, in fact, insane. After that it got much easier.

We are traveling this year for Thanksgiving for the first time in years. (I hope this means we are staying home at Christmas, but I don't push) But I've been married 20 years now. My father in law and I get along just fine and I am glad to have him around as my parents are both gone. He is a good guy. We do things toghether whenever we visit. On the other hand, there are brothers and sisters in law that I could certainly do without. :-\

 

My father-in-law and I achieved a truce around the time my first kid was born. Car rides could still get a little tense when he'd start in on one of his right-wing diatribes though. He died a couple years ago. My MIL is great. She's coming for Christmas for a few weeks and it's fine with me.
My wife's in-laws, on the other hand . . . .

 

Great topic to vent.

I just survived 2 weeks with my in-laws (who came from the East Coast) in my smallish house. Wow, I shouldn't complain because they did a great deal of work around the house to keep them busy. The good news is this will not be happening for another year.

One of the fundamental differences between the families is that my wife's side just starts projects and leaves them all out mid-stream so you've got to look at half eaten food on the counters and paint brushes in the kitchen; paint swatches everywhere, ladders out. My mom always preached put everything away. Well two weeks of this stuff nauseated me. Plus, for my in-laws, nothing is every good enough; they just cannot give out praise, even to their only two grandkids. My boy, 6, scored two goals in his soccer game and all they said to my wife (who missed the game) was that he did "OK." OK? Jeez. Our house too, I busted my a** to buy this in a great school district which is in one of the best suburbs of SF. My FIL says its "okay."

Angola you're right about the in-law analysis. My wife used to adore her dad even though he's one of the most controlling guys I've ever met. He was brutal to my wife, never giving her any reason to feel good about herself. Luckily, she got some impetus to move across the country and I found her (she went away to college and lived abroad too). My basic problem is he's just not somebody who is fun to hang out with and I would not choose his type. I enjoy fun-loving guys who just go with the flow without being too anal about anything. FIL is more apt to ponder what his life would have been had he not moved from one house to another 35 years ago.

I know I adore my mom. But as I explained elsewhere she's overcome great obstacles and gave me the opportunity to do what I'm doing without keeping me down. And one of my problems is I just dismiss whatever my wife says about my mom without affirming my wife's views. Luckily that's good enough for my wife. (I tell her my boys will be doing the same 20 years from now).

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

I just married into a father-in-law (obviously) who spent the first few months of the marriage at the nut house. The guy has a master's from Columbia, taught college, but is so goofy and quirky that he decided to go off his meds right after my wife and I tied the knot. Off the meds, he did the pills and scotch thing a couple of times. Thus, the stay in the loony bin.

To say Virginia redoing the "checking yourself out" law since the Tech shooter bit him in the ass is an understatement.

You know what though, I really like the guy. When he is on his meds, I love cracking wise with him, and he is a constant source of one-liners from me with my wife. He also likes me a lot, and we have gone to sporting events together without her.

He is coming over for Thanksgiving (a one hour drive), and I am looking forward to it. I have a nice HD TV, and I think he will be planted on the couch all day.

My favorite quips:

Dad's currently "resting."

Nurse, could you please turn on the ball game?

Is he waiting for the chief to toss the fountain out the window?

 

My in-laws are the most self-destructive, self-centered, controlling, dysfunctional people I've ever been around. Fortunately, my wife figured this out pretty early on and took the opposite path -- she often wonders how she came from that family, and we try to keep our distance from them.

Family gatherings are interesting contrasts -- my family and my wife's family are about as opposite as you can get.

 

Pretty fortunate here. My wife is one of five girls, no boys. My mother-in-law, for whatever reason, almost treats the brothers-in-law better than her daughters. My father-in-law is one of the nicest people you would ever meet--one of those folks who don't ever have a negative thing to say about anyone/anything. And quite the handyman to boot on cars, home repair, etc.

The real danger over the holidays is when the five girls get together, you never know when the mood can spin into tornado mode, and the main goal is just to avoid the shrapnel.

For those who may not be as fortunate, I'd reccommend you carry a copy of this with you on your visits: guaranteed to make a couple hours of your visit most enjoyable

 

My in-laws wouldn't bother a soul. I just wish all their conservatism hadn't filtered down to all the kids. C'mon people, lighten up; life's too short. Let your hair down once in a while!