I'm sick and not coming to work ever

So for the last couple of weeks at my place of work we have had a rash of people calling in sick. My position at this company is somewhat predicated on the fact that when people call in sick I pick up more hours. I have a schedule every week but it tends to fluctuate and because of this I get an extra $100 a week. The problem I have is when I am forced to stay an extra four or five hours because someone didn't show up.

After talking to one of the supervisors, he told me that the issue is that the background check at this place is so stringent that we hire people who are straight out of high school because they have nothing on their background that could be detrimental. In his words, "These kids have absolutely no work ethic and no idea that when they are scheduled for a shift they are supposed to be here."

Not looking for any sympathy, just needed to vent about work. Thanks for listening, if you did

 

Do you work at a factory?

 

Nah, security at a place that does bioresearch

 

So you're telling me Pimply McPimplehead is guarding the door to the Ebola room? Lovely.

 

No he is calling in sick and making me do it

 

What, no bioresearchsecurity.com?

I'm just kidding. You're more than welcome to post here. I was just assuming you worked at a newspaper and thought for a second, 'boy JRC is really hitting the skids ...'

 

That sucks, Ross. Just keep your iPod filled with 'Pac.

 

Hey Ross, will you guys buy my semen? I need gas money, and my semen is pretty incredible.

 

Dude, even your internet soulmate won't go near your semen.

 

Christ, I am glad I have your permission. I should have told you that the paper that I used to work at decided they no longer needed me.

Ass.

 

That might be for the best then. Unless you're this guy:

 

By the way, do NOT type Simpsons teen into the google image search without safesearch on. Dear fucking God.