I'm shacked up

I would just say that you better be darn sure there's a long-term future in the relationship, cause a non-married breakup can be as messy as a divorce.

 

i love it when you get super sarcastic.

 

So I'm not on fire anymore?

 

oh god yes. just count that as a super sarcastic extension of being on fire.

 

Problem is, I was being straight up.

 

sonuvabitch.

 

I think it'd be weird not to live with the person before you marry.

I actually moved in with a female friend just after meeting the future Mrs. Gomer. It worked great, actually. Neither roommate was single so that cut down on any potential awkwardness.

Moved in with my wife-to-be a year-and-a-half later. Her parents - very religious - sat us down for 'the talk' about 'living in sin.' Behind my back they offered her money and a car not to move in with me before marrying. To my face they offered us a shotgun wedding, to which we both refused. I did open up and say I intended (at that time, anyhow) to marry her someday, but that I didn't feel we were ready.

Looking back on it I'm glad we stood up to them. It was good for both of us to live together, though the three years it took for me to actually pop the question annoyed her a little. But the independence we reaped was the biggest advantage we gained from the experience.

 

but you still nailed your roommate, didn't you?

 

This is damn right. I'm on the tail end of a breakup with a girl I lived with for several years, and I'm here to tell you it can be an absolute clusterfuck (is clusterfuck one word?). A divorce without the paperwork is how my old man describes it.

Personally, I got into it for the sake of convenience and finance. The way I'm looking at it now is, if I do it again, we will have talked about marriage extensively. Shacking up will basically serve as a test run before the ring comes out. But like Arnold said, the fact you're not feeling nervous about it is a great sign, and living in sin is the only way to find out what somebody's really like. Most people have had great friends who became roommates, but weren't such great friends when the lease was up. Same concept here.

 

We will have to agree to disagree on the fucking, but not living together thing. People have to do what they are comfortable with. It is silly and yes, it is most likely about appearances. But I respect their choices as I would expect them to respect mine. I'm the last person who should be telling anybody else how to practice their beliefs.

 

Not sure I get it. What is the purpose? So each spouse can get a little on the side?

 

Sadly, no. I've pretty much been a grade-A geek/loser all my life.