I'm shacked up

So you are a sinner and a world series cheat, eh, Buck?

 

Why this seems to have zero positive effect on the divorce rate . . . I'll never understand.

 

Just remember to keep the pimp hand strong. (/ducking)

 

Pretty sure I've read information supplied by the Christian Right that claims pre-marital cohabitation actually leads to more divorce, not less. I can't cite it because it's just one of those random things I seem to recall and also because it strikes me as total bullshit. Anybody who would live together before marriage is obviously without the church-engrained dogma that requires one to stay in a bad situation past the point where a normal person would push the eject button. I am going to guess that cohabitation prior to marriage is now more common than those who have not. Maybe I am just normalizing my own situation -- lived with my now wife for seven years before marriage -- but marriage is far too serious a commitment to enter into without a broad base of knowledge.

 

To be fair, for some it really is a religious issue. I don't quite understand why pre-marital sex is acceptable but living together crosses the line, but I know people who believe exactly that.

 

I respect other people's beliefs, I really do.

But just because someone believes an idea ... doesn't validate or justify its illogicality.

 

Just to be clear, I don't really believe I'm "living in sin." In fact, I need to incorporate more sin into my life.

 

The best marriage I've ever seen was that of my maternal grandparents. My grandfather got the master bedroom's closet.




















It was smaller.

One of my aunts and her second husband have a great marriage. Dual walk-in closets.

 

Agreed. I'm just saying that some people may hesitate to move into such an arrangement due to a belief that it is a sin. Just because you and I may not agree with their beliefs doesn't mean that it is just an excuse to avoid taking that step.

For example, I am sure that deep down the friend I mentioned above does feel a little guilty about living with a man she is not married to. Fortunately, she was able to put that aside and do what makes her happy.

But I have another friend who would not move in with her husband until they were married because she believed it was wrong. Even when they were just engaged, they still lived apart. They have been married seven or eight years now (I forget) and are still going strong.

To each his or her own.

 

That does keep it entertaining.

Sorry for the threadjack. I couldn't resist. That phrase always gets to me.

 

I can respect people who abstain from pre-marital sex for religious reasons.

I can't respect people who claim to follow religious tenants, but are fucking their brains out anyway, but won't live together because it's a "sin." Those people are doing nothing but keeping up appearances -- if they live together, everyone knows they're fucking, but if they pay two separate rents it keeps everyone guessing.

Also, the cohabitation-leads-to-divorce issue has already been debunked: <a href="http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2004/10/31/walking_the_walk_on_family_values/">The highest divorce rate is in the Bible Belt</a>