I'm going on the 15 day DL

I hate, hate, HATE my stairs!

I was watching the Indy race in our basement living room. I went upstairs to do something and nonchalantly began the descent down my stairs.

Suddenly, I slipped on the carpet, and both feet went flying underneath me. I was airborne for a long enough period to ponder what pain I was about to endure. Neck? Head? Back? Bubbler be sinking and the sky's the limit.

THUD! I hit the second stair from the top with full force on the right side of my ass. I bounced, presumably not from the suppleness, about three more stairs before I began a "tobaggan" ride with my back and ass as the tobaggan. My body began to turn as I neared the bottom and I somehow flew about 10 feet off the base of the stairs.

As I writhed in pain, my initial pain was in my ass, but it quickly subsided. What I didn't notice was my left hand, torn up on one side and already swelling. I don't have any idea how it happened, either I landed on it or it caught in the railing, but it's fucked up.

When I shook it off, I went upstairs to get some ice and the stair I initially landed on had snapped. It was one of those boards that have an inch or two overhang and I completely sheared it off. It had to cut the carpet up to remove it, so I essentially have 3/4 of a stair there now.

Damn this shit hurts, I don't think it's broken, but I have very little range of motion in my hand and the pain goes down to the wrist. Tylenol is my friend right now.

Fuck my stairs. I made a similar "ride" two years ago, only I was shirtless and landed at an angle, so my "ride" consisted of sliding shirtless over ragged stair carpet and hardwood, which proceeded to remove much of the skin on my back. I looked like Lawrence of Arabia, post-Turkish prison visit.

I'd sue myself if I had any money. Cue laughter now.

 

I hope your supple, supple ass is OK.

 

Sheeit, Bubs. Heal quick. (And I hope you typed that with your right hand ...)

 

Who should I get to replace you in my fantasy SportsJournalists.com league? I'll need someone to replace your quality post ratio.

 

Do we have any kids posting down on the farm club message boards? Could this be Bubs' Wally Pipp moment?

 

Back in the old days, we kept posting through all the little hurts.

Uphill both ways.

 

BC-Transactions, Writethru,0204

Eds: Updates.

Sunday’s Message Board Transactions

By The Associated Press

SPORTSJOURNALISTS.COM — Placed FM Bubbler on the 15-day DL. Recalled SM Mike311gd from Bayside.

 

Boy, I hope there was a grizzled catcher down in the minors who has been helping Mikey with his cliches.

 

Has to be a grizzled catcher, because no cougar in her right mind would want to mold him.

 

So, the lesson here is ... don't watch Indy races?

 

That... And throw the next one at the bull.