IJAG, press secretary for ...

Is it true Brook Jacoby is gay?

 

President Bush doesn't know all the heads of state in all the countries quite yet. Please bear with us.

We are not here as your private travel guide, Miss. This administration is about personal responsibilities.

 

Yes.

Next?

 

No.

Next?

 

Just to follow up, what was your response?

 

Why am I sitting at my laptop, feeling as low as I ever have been with an overwhelming urge to punch myself in the face until I cannot feel pain?

 

I am unaware of what a "strap-on" is.

 

Why has Zeke refused to congratulate me for winning the CIAFL???

 

Who invented lolcats, and why do so many Americans find them funny?

As a follow, is the president planning to use America's love of lolcats as a way to finally be a uniter and not a divider?

 

this is a lie. I have photos.

Hey, she had to feel something SOMEHOW during our night of passion sloppy love-making heavy petting casual petting whatever happened while she was unconscious relations.

 

What is the administration's position on contraceptive education? Has the latest disaster in the Spears family caused that position to change?

 

Sir, we are not in position to act as your healthcare professional. May we suggest you phone them. We are not Canada. We do not have health care like that.