If you could attend one fake sports event...

I hear it's rigged this year.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Simpsons_-_Softball_Ending_(The).html

 

Wrestlemania ... what? Oh, never mind -- you're talking about fake events, not fake sports.

 

You know what would be fun to cover as a sporting event, with a press conference and everything?
The Road Rules/Real World Challenges. I would just love to analyze things that happened and ask questions live.

 

The Quidditch World Cup.

 

Even better - the WKRP vs WPIG softball game with The Big Guy speed-walking his inside-the-park homer and Les Nessman making the game-ending catch.

 

The championship game in Wildcats when Finch blocks the kick and Central beats Prescott. Actually, I'd love to attend that entire Central season -- and the studio session afterward.

 

DAMNIT! I got to page three and had my hopes up that nobody beat me to it!

 

Woulda been cool to see Leo Farnsworth's tryout with the Rams.

 

The Preakness that The Phantom from Misty of Chincoteague wins.

 

Carver High vs. "a bunch of guys down at the carwash" AKA The Harlem Globetrotters.

 

Hickory vs. South Bend Central.
So I could heckle that idiot, Norman Dale, for almost overcoaching the last shot.

 

Crash Davis homers and Nuke LaLoosh walks 18, whiffs 18, and hits the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice in his first professional win for the Durham Bulls.

He tells me it feels not just out there, but OUT THERE.

Armed with this knowledge ahead of time, I file early and nail Millie in the clubhouse.