If SJ were Love Boat, who would guest star?

Thank fricking God

 

To me, Shields and Yarnell are the greatest WTF celebrities ever.

Did anyone in the late 70s actually like them? How on Earth did they keep getting booked on shows?

They actually scared me when I was a kid. I had a physical sense of revulsion when they appeared on screen.

So what I'm saying is ... hell yes they should have been on Love Boat!

 

The Captain and Tennille just giggled.

 

Captain and Tennille are the freaking Beatles and James Bond rolled into one compared to Shields and Yarnell. At least they sang about fucking all the time.

Watch this and you'll see. What in the holy sideways name of fuck was America thinking in the late 70s?

It's like a Kraftwerk album cover crossed with the comedy stylings of a Hee Haw sketch.

And yes, it still scares the fuck out of me.

 

Monti Rock III weeps

 

I have no idea who in the fuck Shields and Yarnell are.

 

I had such a crush on Jill Whelan when I was a kid.

 

I see Mitch Albom and Mike Lupica as the bickering older couple.

Peter King could be the comedic guest who steals towels, stiff waiters and grabs the lobster from the buffet when some kid is reaching for it.

Lynn Hoppes could be the celebrity on board that Julie and Gopher both compete to impress.

Chris Jones would be Isaac's nightmare at the bar, forcing him to stay open around the clock to serve him and his friends.

Captain Steubing is buttonholed by 21's mother after 21 has surprised her family with a Thanksgiving cruise and a standing reservation a the captain's table. 21, however, somehow missed the boat.

 

You had me at Albom & Lupica, no doubt chasing after Joan & Melissa Rivers, or the Landers sisters, whatever....but you know my mother too well. No way she is settling for less than the captain.

 

I was picturing 21's aunt taking her mah jongg group for a cruise.

 

Be happy about that.

 

How did we get this far without a Charo reference?