If I offended you …

Had a dispute with an acquaintance/colleague. We had a heated conversation and several times, he uttered, "If I hurt your feelings (by my actions), I apologize."

In turn, I told him that was the most condescending f'ing way he could possibly attempt to apologize and how about trying it without the If-Then conditional. He couldn't do it. He just kept coming back to the same phrasing, like he was a robot and had it written down on a card... This is what I'm supposed to say!!!

I hear a lot of people attempt to apologize in that manner, and it always bugs me.

Am I alone on this one?

 

When someone says that, they actually mean you're wrong and don't be such a pussy. It's in no way a real apology.

 

Re: If I offended you …

Right. But you were probably wrong, so don't be such a pussy.

 

Re: If I offended you …

That's because you're a pussy. When I say it, I mean "you're wrong and Creosote is a pussy."

The person I'm talking to then wonders what the fuck a "Creosote" is and why it's such a pussy.

 

Yes. Sounds like he does not feel sorry but is agreeing to acknowledge that you feel differently about the subject matter.

No one should say they are sorry if they are not. Clearly, you are not, and it doesn't seem he is, either. Accept it, agree to disagree and move on.

He manned up and acknowledged that, and you bit his head off. You *should* be the one apologizing, not so much for the initial heated conversation but the follow-up.

 

With all due respect...

 

Sounds like Matt works with one of my clueless former bosses.

 

Don't take this the wrong way but.....

 

I use "duly noted" to mean "I have given your opinion/suggestion/order the complete lack of notice I consider it to be due."

 

SJ style, people

 

Come on, everybody knows that you have to use the "that said," phrase in the middle.

[/Curb Your Enthusiasm]

 

If you two head a heated discussion, why should the other guy apologize. Aren't you equally guilty for being in a heated conversation with a colleague?

Either accept his half-hearted apology or punch him in the nose. Quit whining.