I wish I had played ...

... with myself less as a kid

 

Outing alert: Sportschick is either Penn or Teller. You decide.

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I would have loved to have played football ... either at QB or WR. But one look at me in high school and after noticing the kicker was significantly bigger than me, it was time to reset my goals.

 

Willy Loman

 

If you practice prancing now, there's still hope.

 

I appreciate the encouragement, but I'm 10 years older, have two bionic knees and never learned to skate. That ship has definitely sailed for me.

 

Never saw a wrestling match until I started working for a newspaper, and each wrestling season I wish I had done that in college. I like the discipline it instills in an athlete and considering the shape I'm in now, maybe it could have helped me better that.

 

naw, really, i think you should try it. but please let me be there to watch.

 

kinky, babar, very kinky.

 

I played baseball, and was relatively good, I guess. I played at the small-ish college I went to before quitting due to a dickhead coach.

But what I really wish I'd done, is play harder on the football field.

I was a small guy and wasn't nearly as mean as I should've been.

 

Hmm. Either the drums or a hockey netminder. Thanks to Rock Band, I can get my drum fix in some form (just hit 92 percent on the hard version of Give Me Shelter).

As for wanting to be a goalie, I can't explain it. It starts with loving the mentality of being first on the ice, of being the last resort, of being the last resort when everything else fails. It ends with the badass fucking mask I would've had designed. Even if I sucked, my mask would've made people cry.

 

I wish I could have played soccer on the youth and high school levels. Growing up in rural Mississippi, I think I was the only person in my hometown who followed the NASL and the World Cup, watched "Soccer Made in Germany" on PBS and checked out Pele's autobiography from the town library.

A dozen years ago, here in the soccer-minded city where I work, I signed up my flat-footed self for the Park and Rec adult soccer league. My performance on the pitch was a repeat of my high school football playing days: all heart, little talent.

Three Bags, if you had the meaness that I had when I ruled the gridiron for the Hilltoppers, people would call you a dirty player. I recall a game against Pontotoc when I was lining up at my outside linebacker spot, an official shouted to me, "All right, No. 30 (my number), you'd better unball those fists or I'll throw you out of the game." I had a midfield scuffle with a pair of kick return blockers on the play before. I guess they didn't want me tackling their return man for a fourth time in that game. And I still have fond memories of another scrap against Okolona that earned me an unsportsmanslike conduct penalty.

I still wound up with the Sportsmanship trophy after my senior season.