I want a new hometown, too ...

Did he play? I didn't watch the game. Man, I loves me some Dave Carr . . . rowwwrrrr.

 

I offer you Houston.
Our baseball team has seen the World Series more times than the Cubs in the last 60 years, and has as many rings to show for it. Sometimes when they get close, the tightwad owner actually goes out hunting for a trade. Hello Randy Johnson! Goodbye Randy Johnson! Hello Carlos Beltran! Goodbye Carlos Beltran! Well at least they got Andy and Roger. And we know how good that turned out. Well if your lucky you can come and watch the short stops of guys like Dwight Gooden and John Franco. But to make up for it they will trade away some guys you're better off never seeing stiffs like Curt Schilling and Joe Morgan and give us such all-star type players like Jason Jennings.

It's such a great formula that the Astros fans have a yearly ritual of ignoring the Astros terrible April-July performance and just start watching when the Astros are ready to make a late surge.
We assume the surge is to keep fans from thinking about our awesome football team. I don't know why the city wanted to sue Bud McAdams when he moved our old Oilers out of town. Couldn't they see the big picture? This opened the door for the Texans. The Texans are all about community involvement. After all, it appears they went to a third grader to design their uniforms (or was it their offense?). And when they chose some defensive guy over the long lost Bush or some Young kid who once lived here people scoffed and laughed. But after the 8-8 record we showed last season...who's laughing now?? I mean besides anyone who has seen Shawn Bradley on a basketball court.
Thankfully our basketball team has some Chinese freak. I'm sure as soon as this no name Dikembe Mutumbo becomes a household name, and the future arrives for future superstars Shane Battier and Juwan Howard we can celebrate like we did in those two non-Jordan years!!!
Oh and don't get me started on our awesome colleges. I mean, the original Phi Slamma Jamma and the beautiful cozy roads that lead to Rice Stadium.

Not sold yet? Wait until you step outside on a beautiful August afternoon. If it ain't raining, it's draining the sweat out of your pores. Either way, free bath!

 

I've been in Sandusky -- to visit the Callahan Auto plant, of course -- but never to Cleveland. I hear it's nice, but not as nice as Akron.