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I think you might like it: Danny and Sandy destroy Christmas and credibility

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Care Bear, Dec 6, 2012.

  1. Care Bear

    Care Bear Guest

    For the love of Santa FUCK, what in the name of elf erections is this?



    John Travolta and Olivia Newton-Wrong just released a Christmas song together and decided to make a video? In Ocala? And this is the end result of that decision?

    Please, please, watch this video and tell me how this happened.

    1. If John Travolta is still trying to refute those gay rumors, this video just killed that agenda. Can we discuss his Sharpie hair?
    2. Who the shit directed this? From the ridiculously wrapped presents that everyone was apparently regifting from scene to scene to the uncomfortable dance sequences to the running open-armed embraces to the matching fucking red sweaters to the blow-my-brains-out Ocala scenery to the unbelievably creepy way Travolta gets his tongue all involved in saying, "I like it!" at the end of the video...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED HERE?
    3. And how did this happen? How did John Travolta end up inside the anus of Christmas? Just how many favors does he now have to pay off in order to get these blowjob lawsuits off his back?
    4. Why have I watched this five times?
    5. And how do I get this goddamn song out of my head?
     
  2. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    I think it's his best work since "Urban Cowboy."

    Two erect little thumbs.
     
  3. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    Seriously, I thought the whole production is Amateur Hour. And Johnny looks strange.
     
  4. dixiehack

    dixiehack Well-Known Member

    I'm off to find some giraffe porn, so that if my wife looks at my browsing history she'll have a little more respect for me than if that ... thing is what stands out most.
     
  5. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Hi, Sandy!

    When they were in their red sweaters, I half expected to see a giant house cat superimposed next to them as in the infamous portrait. And Travolta did look like late-in-life Freddie Mercury.

    But don't fear. The antidote:

     
  6. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

    A Chia pet has more realistic hair than Travolta has. It looks like Velcro.
     
  7. spikechiquet

    spikechiquet Well-Known Member

    Um....

    What?!

    Was this L. Ron Hubbard approved?

    This was a dumber than a box of, walking piece of shit, train wreck of a dumpster fire.
     
  8. Bubbler

    Bubbler Active Member

    I .... I can't do it. Couldn't make it for more than a minute.

    I don't know why I clicked in the first place. I have zero nostalgia for Grease, John Travolta or Olivia Newton-John. It makes my skin crawl.

    Wait, I know, I wanted to see if it was worse than Battlefield Earth. It well nigh might have been, but at least Battlefield Earth was so unfathomably bad that can you laugh at it. This was bad and boring which is probably the worst sin of all.

    Did I get that right as I was fast-forwarding? John Travolta landed a plane on Olivia Newton-John's private airstrip, which also just happens to be her driveway? (And nice landing too, asshole)

    Then they hung out briefly and platonically (presumably since you need Grease and Grease II to lube up ONJ's other private airstrip these days) and then went and greeted people at the airport?

    Hey Barbarino, why didn't you fucking land the plane at the airport and have ONJ meet you there? I'd save us all a lot of cornpone bullshit you dim fuck.
     
  9. TigerVols

    TigerVols Well-Known Member

    John landed at HIS home.

    http://telstarlogistics.typepad.com/telstarlogistics/2008/06/exploring-john.html
     
  10. Bubbler

    Bubbler Active Member

    Like I said, I fast-forwarded, so forgive my not getting the jist.

    So he landed at his own home. OK. And ONJ is waiting there at his house?

    Why? Is she the maid? Does the entire Grease cast live in John Travolta's gated community? Like some nightmarish version of that Twilight Zone episode where the kid controls the entire town? Cause I can totally see Travolta using his Dianetics hoodoo to that end.

    Why would ONJ, who hasn't done a damn thing since the mid 80s, just randomly be hanging out at John Travolta's house?

    Wait ... I know. It's for the heroin.

    Do yourself a favor. In your mind's eye, replace every scene in Pulp Fiction with present-day John Travolta and swap out Uma Thurman for present-day ONJ.

    That would kick ass. Or suck. Your mileage may vary.
     
  11. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    A couple things up front:

    1. I am OBSESSED with Grease. Love it. Won't watch Grease 2 (for obvious reasons) but the original is AMAZING on every level.
    2. I honest to god don't care who John Travolta puts his dick in. I'd prefer if he did it consensually, saving us these annoying lawsuits, but whatever.

    OK, now. My GOD that was horrible. And I'm not sure what it says about me but the two parts that stood out for me were a.) the second military guy not seeing his relative (or friend) despite there being only five people in the whole building and said relative (or friend) wearing a dark blue uniform standing against a white wall and b.) How HORRIBLY the military guys danced.

    The old people "dancing" was oddly adorable.
     
  12. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Grease was such dreck. What is sad, though, is that it was so blown up at the time, that I knew all the words to the songs on the Soundtrack. I was 10. I remember my cousin and Melissa and I dressing up as Danny and Sandy and performing Summer Loving for my relatives. It was 1) a lowpoint in my life and 2) something anyone who knows me today would find hard to believe. I am just glad there were no video cameras around then and no facebook or a clip of that would be following me around for life.

    As for that clip, it's not even endearing (or funny) in the same way my obsession with the David Hasselhoff videos 5 to 10 years ago, were. It made me want to beat the crap out of Travolta. I still have dirty thoughts about ONJ -- current version and all, and despite the fact that Travolta in those scenes fouls her up just a bit in my mind.
     
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