I think my wife is going to kill me....

How often does someone on The List actually say "yes"?

 

Tell her there's no way the kid is yours, but the bitch insists on a paternity test anyway.

 

Update: She called me and I, like an idiot, couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"That's not an option" was her exact response...then she got off the phone, pissed.

Yeah, this is going to be fun.

 

Women's opinions can change every five minutes. Why not in a few months? Talk to her.

And even if she hates it, just come back in five minutes. It might be a great idea then.

If you're married, and it's important to one spouse and won't kill the other, shouldn't it be important to them, too? I've never worn that ring, but I think I understand what it's supposed to mean.

 

I already tried that

 

At the Expendable house, we call that Tuesday.

 

Well good luck with that one. Does it have anything to do with having sex with her in a very uncomfortable place? like the back of a volkswagon?

 

May as well go ahead and have the castration, outofp.

 

LMAO...oh, just to make it all even more fun, my mother-in-law will probably be there with her when I get home...this just keeps getting better and better...

Seriously, thanks for the laughs and the positive comments....all are greatly appreciated and needed...

 

Honey, I'm home!

 

Get the mother-in-law on your side, outofp, and you are in.

Whatever you gotta do. Fix her up with a buddy or something.

Or bring home flowers. No heavy vases, though.

 

Good advice. Won't work (trust me), but good advice.