I think my wife is going to kill me....

She really is. I'm not even going to finish telling her what's up and she's going to grab the closest sharp object she can find.

Before you all ask, no, I didn't do anything bad. An opportunity may be coming open that I want to pursue and it completely flies in the face of our short and long-term plans. A few years ago, it would have been fine, but not now. Now, it's going to be a very loud argument.

I'm not sure there is any advice to be given here, especially with me being so vague. I basically had to vent and I'm stuck at my desk for a couple more hours. I know I'm asking for trouble, but if I don't at least follow up on this, I'll never forgive myself or her. My fellow SportsJournalists.commers, your moral support would be greatly appreciated in my hour of need.

That or just make fun of me. I could use the laugh.

 

Hey, when the lap dances are half price at the businessmen's buffet lunch, you gotta go for it.

I don't blame you, outofp.

She'll probably feel sorry for you when the food poisoning kicks in, so you've got that going for you.

 

The sooner you realize and accept that you are going to lose this argument, the sooner the stress will leave. Why start something when you know the outcome is that you will wind up doing what your wife wants. All the argument will do is give her ammunition in the future. If it is going to cause that much turmoil, let it go.

 

See first if maybe her attitude has changed.
Maybe you'd be in for a surprise.

 

If this opportunity is of such great importance to you, please do not underestimate the compassion and understanding of your spouse.

 

If it's that important to you, it could be that important to her. It's worth at least a test baloon.

 

You never know, outofplace. You need to talk to her about it. You never know what how a girl'll feel till you ask.

 

By the way, outofp, if this "opportunity" has anything to do with The Plain-Dealer, you're wife will be the least of your worries.

 

Sleep lightly and cover up your junk.

 

If it's a threesome, forget it.

Employment opportunity? All you can do is throw it out there. You never know.

 

Here's what you do:

Tell her just the worst possible news you can make up. You need a life-saving castration, the IRS is about to pin the whole Nigerian bank scandal on you, the house has mold in every wall and it will cost seven thousand paychecks to repair.

Then, after she's a complete wreck, just add, casually, 'oh, and this job thing came up....at least something positive....'

The next day you can say they found a cure for the mold.

 

Six little words: "I'm not gay, but I'll learn."