I need a new look

Maybe this is the first vestiges of my mid-life crisis, but I've been thinking about a new look.

Oh I know I'm just polishing a turd, but in the spirit of dealing with the hand I've been dealt, polish a turd I must.

It downed on me when I was flipping through the channels last night and stopped on mid-60s caper movie Topkapi on TCM. It takes place in Istanbul (not Constantinople) and Peter Ustinov basically gets Shanghai-ed into the Turkish secret police.

That's not important. What is important are the outfits the Turkish secret police wore. Dark black sunglasses and beige suits. They looked scummy and classy all at once. The sunglasses-with-suit look ... I like.

So I basically got it in my head I want to look like a late 60s/early 70s movie criminal, but how do I go about it? The options vexed me.





The template is Steve McQueen and the way the rest of his crew from the original Thomas Crown Affair dresses. But I have neither the bread nor the sex appeal to pull it off. Plus, his suit here isn't gritty enough.




On the other side of the coin? I give you Warren Oates from Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia. He's got the scum factor down to a tee, but I have neither Oates' rugged charm needed to pull that look, nor the desire to get quite that scummy.





I could go with Alan Arkin's look from Wait Until Dark, but I don't think I'd look good in leather and I'm just not menacing enough to pull it off. Think Vanilla Ice's gangsta rap album in terms of how incongruent it would be.



Or I could continue to look something too close to this ...





I guess I should start with the sunglasses and work my way up. This turd is fully polished fail.

 

Just pop your collar on that last pic and you'll be fine.

 

This thread has absolutely no chance of ending well.

 

Looks like Warren Oates after a hunger strike. Or maybe the bastard son of Oates and Steve Buscemi.

 

The sad thing is that people in Tosa never stopped wearing that style of clothing.

 

dreds. definitely dreds.

 

The hair is beyond hope. I need threads to distract from that.

Maybe I should join the Turkish secret police just for the clothes. They can't dress much different now than they did in the mid 60s.

 

You know you want to, Bubbler.

 

Wants to what? Look like a big red X?

Mikey falls to 5-9824.

 

Son of a monkey.

 

I wish I was as cool as Mr. Peanut so I could pull off a monocle.

Maybe I need to go back to wearing a pocket watch. That was pretty cool until I broke it.