I may or may not have a STD - what do I tell my girlfriend?

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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/

 

That's the dumbest fucking advice yet. Let's just go straight to deception, is that right?

And when that blows up in your face, Sparky, go ahead and ask if you can have a BJ anyway.

 

It's really too bad that you did not want to break up with her. This situation would have been your golden ticket out.

 

Just trying to give him advice on how to avoid a hand grenade going off tonight. My earlier advice was test and wait for the results. But he's most immediate problem now is that his tallywhacker might be OUTED tonight.

 

Ever see how Basil Fawlty worked himself deeper and deeper into the shit, when being human and honest instead would have worked things out simply and easily? Yeah, it's a bit of a delicate and/or embarrassing situation. It's also a bit of a test, isn't it? ... Time to take a deep breath and then just talk.

 

So . . . you went on the Intertubes to try to figure out what you might have?

Then, you scurried to a bunch of sports honks on a message board to seek advice?

Whoever this woman is, she's too smart for you.

 

No. He went and got tested. He said as much in the very first post. If you can't complete your required reading, please don't bother the rest of the class.

 

Have you by chance taken any strong antibiotics recently? They can give a man a yeast infection, believe it or not. Not sure if it would result in a blister but it's something to think about. Another (less powerful) antibiotic will clear it up in a couple of days. (Trust me on this one.)

 

Well, since you were obviously aware that he'd already done the one intelligent thing there was to be done in getting tested, what's your point?

He wasn't supposed to Google what might be wrong with him? Why on Earth not? Taking what you find seriously is something different, but there's no reason not to Google it.

He wasn't supposed to start a thread here? Who gives a shit? If you don't like it, don't read it.

No, your point was to be an asshole, this time and the 699 other times you've posted with this handle.

And all the bumps on my junk are accounted for, thanks.

 

I've developed what I hope is the explanation that does not involve this being a STD.

I'm a distance runner. I frequently run outdoors, on trails in the woods, in shorts and without a shirt if it's warm enough. Last summer, I got a tremendous blister on my chest - big, red, oozing, crusty disgusting thing. Went to the dermatologist who said it was contact dermatitis, and suggested that I had inadvertently run through something poisonous or that I was allergic to on one of my runs. It went away on its own in a few weeks. I regularly get little blisters between my ankles and knees, and since last summer I've always attributed it to running outdoors in shorts in the woods. They generally don't itch unless a piece of clothing is touching them so I typically leave them alone.

Well anyway, this week I had two such blisters on my left knee, and they were itching like crazy under the long pants I was wearing at work Thursday or Friday (can't remember which at this point). So I popped the blisters. I got some of the blister liquid on my fingers when I did so, and I wiped them off in a tissue. Of course, now that I've thought about it, I didn't wash my hands again until after the next time I peed, which means I would have touched myself exactly where this blister is with fingers that had not been washed since getting that knee blister liquid on them.

It seems unlikely that the blister liquid is that potent and long-lasting, but it at least offers some kind of non-STD explanation for what this could be. The blister I have now looks very similar to the ones I get on my legs from running. Here's hoping that it's nothing more insidious than that.

I can't get those test results fast enough.

 

I can't decide if I want to read the upcoming post where you decide to pop the penis blister.