I may or may not have a STD - what do I tell my girlfriend?

I guess it's not that big.

 

If it's an STD. It's pretty obvious - based on the info provided - you got it from your girlfriend.
So when you tell her it can't really come as a surprise.

If that's the case try to PM Freqposter and see what advice/counseling he can offer.

If it's not an STD and just a ingrown hair (ew!) or a boil (gaaak!) I would reach out to to Chef2 and see if he'll make a house call.

 

As an aside:
One of my friends was fucking around on his wife and got an STD.
He got another friend of ours, who works at a hospital to get give them both shots of Zithromax and tell her it was a flu shot.

 

Didn't tell her last night. I'm seeing her again tonight to watch Sunday night NFL (we always watch it) and that's going to be the real test, because typically we watch the game and then ... use your imagination. So I'm going to have to not let that happen tonight.

As for whether she's seen the blister - no, because it seems to have formed sometime late Friday, and since then, she and I have not fooled around. As for will she see it - absolutely. There's no missing the pinky finger-nail sized red blister. And unless it magically disappears between now and the time I get my test results, there's no way she won't see it.

I'm hoping that it's not a STD. It doesn't hurt or itch or anything. But I can't imagine how a guy gets a random blister there if it's not a STD. This sucks.

 

Awesome.

And Stressed, maybe you could, for tonight only, say that you have a headache? It'll buy you some time.

 

I can't wait to hear what it is. It's like a good soap opera.

As The Tallywhacker Turns

 

If you haven't been sexually active with other partners, you shouldn't worry her finding out because you know either it's not an STD or she's the source.
Watch football. If she tries to initiate physical intimacy, tell her not tonight. If she asks why, tell her you have a blister on your d#ck and you're waiting for test results.
How the conversation unfolds from that point will tell you everything you need to know.

 

Shave this afternoon, and cut your lip pretty badly, so that kissing will just rupture it further.

Since it is getting colder outside, tell her you would just prefer to hold and cuddle tonight. Turn the lights off, to make it more romantic.

Not sure what to say if she offers you a BJ. Maybe go for it, and see if she spots the damned spot in the dark.

If she does, then turn on the light and start screaming when you see it.

 

There's a lot of "You must have got it from her, so she won't be surprised" on this thread. Does no one remember health class, when the teacher talked about how it's easy for women to have STDs without knowing it?

 

Lord knows what grows in warm, dark, wet places. They are like haunted caves. I'm surprised bats don't live in there. Or, the vicious killer rabbit, with the teeth. The teeth!

 

"Soak it in a tub of Jack Daniels for an hour. Drink the Jack Daniels. Pass out. See if you still have it in the morning. Repeat as many times as necessary."