I may or may not have a STD - what do I tell my girlfriend?

Yeah, we admittedly have not done that very consistently. And I'm not going to allow us to fool around again until I know what this is, or at least know what it isn't.

 

Fuck her in the ass and then buy a Corolla

 

If you're going to tell her, don't tell her it's a possible STD. It could be something else so why diagnose it as that in case you're wrong? That said, I wouldn't tell her until I got the results. Reminds me of when I was in high school and my buddy thought he knocked up his girlfriend. I asked if he told his parents. He replied that you don't tell them until you're sure. Take his advice. (He later knocked her up while still in school, by the way.)

 

Wait for the results. In the meantime, try to relax if you can.

 

What about a pic of the GF? could sway the board one way or another.

But yes, wait for the results.

 

Ask a doctor, not a sports board. On Monday.

 

WAIT FOR THE RESULTS. I think all men have had some mysterious red bump or soreness on their manhood at one time or another, and it could be anything from chafing to a bug bite to whatever. But I would be careful about the sex until you know. If you can go without, then do it. If you suddenly start wanting to use a condom every time when that is not the norm, then she likely will suspect something is off.

 

Wait. But don't do anything without protection.

 

Paging Doc Talk....Doc Talk ...please pick up

 

Wait until you have results, shut down Uncle Wiggly and eat some moldy bread in the meantime.

 

My friggin' God, everyone is just going to take this thread seriously?

 

Yes. I'm not in a joking mood today.