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I may or may not have a STD - what do I tell my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Stressedguy, Oct 13, 2012.

  1. Stressedguy

    Stressedguy Guest

    Regular poster here, going the way of the guy who asked about his cheating wife back in the day and hiding his usual SJ ID for what will soon be obvious reasons.

    Last night I went to pee before going to bed. As I did so, I felt an odd bump on my shaft. I flipped on the light and saw a red bump. This freaked me out, so I turned on the computer, did some research and it looks like it could be anything from herpes or syphilis to something as insignificant as an ingrown hair or an allergic reaction. I went this morning and had a STD blood and urine test done, but the results won't come back until later this week.

    My question now is: Do I tell my girlfriend of four months tonight when I see her? Or do I wait until I get the results this week, so that if I'm lucky I have nothing to tell her because I'm clean, or if I'm not, I can tell her exactly what she needs to go get tested for?

    I have never had a STD before, but then again, I've never been tested either. Let's just say that I'm far from an attractive guy and I'm a sports writer, so I'm poor to boot, so fending off women has never been anything I've needed to worry about. I would bet that 95% of the people on this site have had more partners than I have.

    Anyway, I'm scared out of my mind and barely slept at all last night because I'm afraid of what I might have, though unless my gf gave me a STD, I don't have the slightest idea where I could have gotten one. My research online said that herpes and syphilis will show symptoms within 90 days of infection, at the longest, and within the past 90 days, my gf is the only person I've been with. So as long as she didn't give it to me, which is possible I guess even though she said she's clean (I didn't ask for a doctor's note or anything), I don't know where it could have come from, which makes me hope that it's nothing serious, just an ingrown hair or contact dermatitis or something.

    That's why I'm torn here - I like this girl a lot and obviously if I have a STD, I must and will tell her. But if this is nothing, telling her about it now will likely cause a huge fight and panic and stress, all for nothing. Plus it's the weekend, clinics are closed and she won't even be able to go get tested until Monday at the earliest. So why tell her now and stress her out all weekend when there's nothing she can do, and it may be nothing anyway? But then again, if it is something, and I tell her once I get the results later this week that I knew about it as of Friday night, she'll be immensely pissed that I waited that long to tell her. (I'm obviously not going to sleep with her in the meantime.)

    The U.S. Dept. of Health says 1-in-6 people will get some kind of STD in their life, so surely others on here have had to deal with something similar. I get it if you don't want to respond publicly, but I welcome any PM thoughts.

    Mods - I promise you I am a regular on this site, but if you decide that this is not the place for this discussion, just kill this thread and I'll go find somewhere else to ask.
  2. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    Oh man, I feel like I'm getting in on Google as a penny stock.

    Seriously, if you only had sex with your girlfriend, you should tell her right away since if you DO have an STD, you got it from her, and she needs to know what she has to do next.

    If so, then how SHE got the STD is going to lead to another, even more uncomfortable conversation soon.
  3. expendable

    expendable Well-Known Member

    My thoughts on the penny stock, completely. I say wait to the test results are back. If its an ingrown hair, then it's much adoo about nothing. You want this to end well, not badly.
  4. ucacm

    ucacm Active Member

    Absolutely wait to talk to her until the test results are back.
  5. Azrael

    Azrael Active Member

    Wait for the results.
  6. Zeke12

    Zeke12 Guest

    If she's the only one you've been with -- really -- then for sure wait for the results.


    If you have been with someone else, reverse that answer.
  7. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    I am surprised no one has said: Post a pic or GTFO

    I can't diagnose anything without a picture. Or a link to something similar looking.

    It could be a bug bite. Not sure, but I would suggest both waiting for the test AND honestly talking about this with her (and explain waiting for the test results as just being really anxious and unsure what to do). Anyway, discussion and honesty could go a long way to making your relationship longer lasting. So, this might all be a good thing to happen, in a week or so when you have more info.

    Best wishes on a healthy test result.
  8. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    1. Never self-diagnose on the internet, in every case you will end up with cancer or pregnancy.

    2. Condoms. If she asks why, just say it seems like the smart thing to do. Which it is.
  9. Uncle.Ruckus

    Uncle.Ruckus Guest

    Wait for the results.
  10. Bubbler

    Bubbler Active Member

    The internet is a wasteland of Chicken Little horseshit and plain old inaccuracy when it comes to diagnoses.

    I got caught in this trap several times over the last few years before I finally got wise.

    Seriously, type up any affliction. Type ... "tingling in my right shoulder".

    You'll get everything from heart disease to scurvy.

    The internet is hailed -- often rightly -- as the great gateway of information. Which is great, but it's also the open floodgates of stupidity and panicky bullshit.

    Wait for the test results.
  11. Stressedguy

    Stressedguy Guest

    I'm surprised at the unanimity here. Or maybe I'm checking back too soon. We all know how these threads evolve - the first handful of posters sway one way, then some devil's advocate comes out the other way and calls everyone else an idiot, then a big pissing match full of what-ifs and name calling develops.

    My response so far - I am not posting a pic. Are you freakin' serious?! A pic of the bump on my genitals? Yeah, that won't get this thread deleted.

    Also, I am telling the truth when I say it has been only the current gf since my last gf, which ended way more than 90 days ago. It's an anonymous message board - I have no reason to lie here.

    I am still unsure what to do, but this is definitely swaying me to keeping quiet until I get the results.
  12. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    In the meantime, wrap that rascal. Which you should have been doing anyway. Or, you know, try to not until you know.
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