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I love middle school basketball coaches

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Pilot, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. Pilot

    Pilot Well-Known Member

    I don't cover that shit, but we let them submit briefs about their games if they want. Pretty damn easy way to kill space in slow weeks, and it keeps them happy. It also makes for some hilarious "stories."

    (For the record, we edit the hell out of them, so this would never run, but it pretty typical of what we get)

    This isn't even the best. A couple weeks ago we had a "they played hard and just got edged out, 55-2" or something like that. Or "in the locker room the team decided they would hold Bumblefuck in the third quarter. They did it! Bumblefuck's worst quarter was the third, and the Little Shits went on to barely lose 44-4."

    I wish I was saving them.
  2. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    Sounds like Bumblefuck needs a feature on them.
  3. John

    John Well-Known Member

    Why is Bumblefuck running up the score?
  4. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    Hey, they try as hard as everyone else! They DESERVE the coverage!
  5. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Those Little Shits shouldn't have been talking shit before the game.
  6. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    amen brother harley.
  7. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Got a phone call tonight from a guy who wanted to know if we ran JV scores... when I said "ummm, no," he wondered why. When I told him, it was like I crushed his spirit... I felt good about it...
  8. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    there's a special place in heaven for folks like you, slapster. may god bless you.
  9. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    You should have told him there's no Santa Claus, either, too. He probably would have hanged himself with his shoelaces.
  10. John

    John Well-Known Member


    A depressed Ed McShitz, father of junior varsity basketball standout Timmy McShitz, takes solace in a bottle of booze after being told that the Douchenozzle Daily News doesn't run JV scores.
  11. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    mr. mcshitz's little boy is going to miss out on a free ride at a d-I school thanks to our boy, the slapster.

    god bless him.
  12. Rex Harrison

    Rex Harrison Member

    I like that a little better.

    Anyway, I remember a varsity girls basketball call I took last season. The coach of the team told how they lost (approximately) 74-4.

    Coach: "Yeah. We're pretty bad."
    Me: "Sounds like it."

    Needless to say, I had given up on the industry by that point. It felt good to just say what I really thought and not have to worry about bullshitting people.
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