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I lost another friend

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Smallpotatoes, Aug 26, 2019.

  1. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Ah, got it. Yeah, that's doable.
  2. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    Single, no kids. That's highly unlikely to change. I'm pretty sure I missed my window for both and while I love my youngest brother's kids dearly, they taught me I was not cut out to be a father.

    Early 50s, so I guess I've missed a lot of windows for a lot of things.

    One thing that's keeping me where I am at the moment is heath insurance. I'm not eligible for it through the driving job until November (assuming I stay there that long) so I get it through the state (Masshealth).
  3. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    You’re breathing.
  4. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Think of things you like to do, and try to do a few more of them.

    I imagine you like the outdoors, since you’ve probably been outside a lot covering sports, and are currently out a lot with your rental car gig,

    Visit parks, National Parks? Historical sites?

    Walks, hikes? Birds? Stars? Big trees? (Here in MD we had the Wye Oak on the Eastern Shore, which fell around 15 years ago.). Trees are majestic.

    Just a few ideas. The world is amazing - enjoy it!
  5. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    Middle age is when a lot of people go through difficulty, and have to re-invent themselves. There are seasons in life. This is a new one, and that's how you should look at it.
    OscarMadison likes this.
  6. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    Remember the things that you’ve enjoyed up to now.

    Love those that love you.

    Stay active and do things that stimulate your thoughts. Hike, walk, go to the library.
  7. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    One of the things that I feel guilty about now is there was somebody who tried to help me a few months ago and for some reason, I just wasn't particularly receptive.

    Shortly after my mom's funeral, a friend of my late uncle and my mom who was a career counselor, offered to help me out. We met a few times. I appreciated that he wanted to help. Maybe I have an attitude problem or maybe I was just still in a bad place after my mom's death and too overwhelmed, but I just wasn't up to doing some of the "homework" he asked me to do.

    Mostly, it just seemed so abstract that I just couldn't see how I could get from Point A to Point B. He asked me to consider the skills, I have, what I enjoy doing and put a dollar value on each thing. I really couldn't figure out how to do that. I don't really have any frame of reference and any dollar value I could come up with would only be a guess which knowing me I'd overshoot or undershoot by a lot.

    The other thing that didn't sit well with me was he had a tendency to interrupt me when I was talking. Sometimes, it was to correct something that I was saying (for example, he said never use the phrase "to be honest" when talking to an employer because it implies you have't been honest. Say "To be transparent."). Sometimes it was because I had the tendency to take the long way around a sentence. Sometimes, it was because he thought my voice was a little on the loud side. I guess he did it for a reason, but I just wish he'd give me the courtesy of finishing what I said before cutting me off.

    Yesterday, I was talking to my brother and he suggested I give him another try. I'm not sure. I feel bad about it because he was willing to help and he is good at what he does, but it just didn't seem to mesh well with me, at least at the time.
    Vombatus likes this.
  8. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    It’s amazing that you are recognizing your issue and your desire to address it. Now just get over that last hurdle, and begin accepting reasons why something might not work and just do it. (No Nike didn’t pay for that). Really if you try you can rationalize anything away. I see it every day. Don’t give in to that, you’re already ready.
  9. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    Would it be worth giving that family friend another shot if he's willing to do it?
    Vombatus likes this.
  10. garrow

    garrow Well-Known Member

    Yes, absolutely.
    Vombatus likes this.
  11. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    Yes. No guarantees but I give you credit for trying.
    Vombatus likes this.
  12. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    I agree, and that part about a dollar value stumped me too.

    I think a better way is to just see what you value most. Maybe make a list, and then assign numbers between 1 and 10.

    Seriously, as I read your post and saw dollar value, I thought WTF, how? I can’t do that either.

    So try numbers. And tell the family friend where you got stuck.
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