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I lost another friend

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Smallpotatoes, Aug 26, 2019.

  1. Regan MacNeil

    Regan MacNeil Well-Known Member

    Or he's pushing pseudoscience. Hardly the first clinical psychologist to do that.
  2. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    He's probably not pushing anything -- just giving people ideas of things they can do for themselves. Which, ultimately, is what a depressed person must do. Or not.

    Because whether they have no interest in exercising, going outside, or interacting with others, or not, at some point, eventually, they will have to start doing those things if they are ever to really get better. And if you do engage in such things, they will help.

    Obese people have no interest in exercising, or eating right, and less, either. And yet, that is exactly what they must do if they are ever to improve their condition. It's the same concept.
    justgladtobehere likes this.
  3. Regan MacNeil

    Regan MacNeil Well-Known Member

    Do you have any personal experience with clinical depression?
  4. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    A lot of what jgtbh enumerated overlaps with what tf typed up.
  5. Regan MacNeil

    Regan MacNeil Well-Known Member

    No kidding. But that's good advice for anyone. It's also stupid to think that those things are the silver bullet to beating clinical depression. It takes a lot of things that go way beyond sunshine and exercise.
  6. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    The key here in lots of cases is finding some place, any place, to START. Even if it’s simple. Agreed professional help and pharma are proven ways to improve, but if someone is not inclined for whatever reason to start with that route (including possibly financial and lack of insurance), starting SOMEWHERE is better than staying in a very dangerous rut.

    Situations like this are not black and white, zero or one. They are not logical, they are psychological. And there’s a huge difference between the two.

    Inertia - staying in a depressive rut of this degree, can sometimes be changed by doing something simple at first, like maybe a few walks, that then lead to greater change like seeking professional help.

    For TF, it took a Hampton Inn, in which he was out of his usual element and led to an aha moment.

    Everyone’s thousand mile journey is different, and I’m sure we are all hoping sp takes that first step into a better direction and builds from there, whatever that first step happens to be.
  7. typefitter

    typefitter Well-Known Member

    Agreed with @Vombatus. There is a spectrum here, from mild anxiety to planning a suicide. There are degrees of depression, from funk to black hole. And there are different ways to fight it, including a range of medications. (Like I said, anti-anxiety meds were far more effective for me than anti-depressants, which just made me feel like crap, honestly.) But what matters is that you start the fight. However you start it, you have to fight back. Otherwise it will swallow you whole. At least that's been my experience. If I feel something coming on—and I think most of us get better with time at knowing when we're about to enter a spell—I start a bunch of the things on my list. I take action. The same set of actions won't work for everybody, but I believe there is some set of actions that will work for just about every sufferer. But the universal truth is that you have to start somewhere. It's not just going to lift on its own. You have to kick it in the teeth.

    The most dangerous time, I think, for a lot of people with depression, is that first real bout of it. It was for me. Easily the closest I came to a terrible mistake. Because you don't know that you're going to get out of it. You don't know how to fight it. It's like suddenly having been thrown to the wolves. Which is why I think it's so important that when someone asks for help, you're there with your lantern to try to help them get out of the woods.

    No need to argue on this thread. Let's just be helpful, okay?
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
    Alma and Vombatus like this.
  8. 3_Octave_Fart

    3_Octave_Fart Well-Known Member

    Question for Type - did you use cannabis for anxiety and if so did you find it helped?
  9. typefitter

    typefitter Well-Known Member

    I smoke quite a bit of pot, but I quit cold turkey if I start in a spin. I have no real explanation for it, but sometimes I'll smoke and wake up the next day in a bit of a mood—short tempered and off. I'm some delightful combo of anxious and depressed (far more anxious than depressed, however). Pot helps my anxiety, particularly when it comes to falling to sleep. It pushes me deeper into depression.
  10. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Well put, TF. Exactly.

    One thing I’ll add: being exhausted, physically and/or mentally (cognitive side) can often lead to getting down on the emotional side.

    Being easy on yourself instead of beating yourself up, getting rest, and practicing good sleep hygiene are all additional factors that can help on a day by day or even hour by hour basis.
  11. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    Just checking in folks.

    I'm still around.

    Carry on.
    Baron Scicluna, jlee, Alma and 7 others like this.
  12. TyWebb

    TyWebb Well-Known Member

    For what it's worth, I've been where you are and further. After a particularly bad month when I was in my mid-20s that included a break-up, a layoff and the death of a loved one, I found myself standing on the edge of a bridge during one particularly lonely night. I don't think I'll ever really know how close I was, probably not as close as I felt at the time, but I still made that walk alone in the dark to that bridge. It wasn't a cry for help. There was no one else around. I don't know what turned me around, but eventually I walked back to my apartment and started putting my life back together piece by piece. I kept moving forward, even if it was only an inch. I am who I am today because I fought through that time, and let me tell you life is beautiful on the other side.

    Many people above have given great advice that you should absolutely follow, so I won't repeat any of that. But I will tell you that you absolutely want to see the person you become after fighting through this tough time.
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