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I lost another friend

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Smallpotatoes, Aug 26, 2019.

  1. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

    I get your point, but my alma mater offers some semblance of what you're talking about ... but they want a triple-digit fee. That is, it's not really a jobs office, but merely another way to grab money. Didn't they get enough of it during undergrad days?
    OscarMadison likes this.
  2. Neutral Corner

    Neutral Corner Well-Known Member

    I can beat that, I think. This year, of all years, is the first year of a new policy at UAB. All freshmen must live in an on campus dorm. Even if your house is four miles from the campus and there's a pandemic raging.

    Gimme those dollars.
  3. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    Checked out rent on apartments. Even the least expensive is a whole bi-weekly paycheck for me. I'm not sure how sustainable that would be, though I guess a lot of people make it work somehow.

    With no credit card debt, a fair amount of money in the back from my mom's annuity death benefit and my share of the condo's sale, I might be able to sustain it for a while. But I would like to increase my income somehow.

    My brother's sister-in-law is a driving instructor and he's been after me to get in touch with her about doing that part-time. I'm not sure I'm cut out for it. I will see if I an do the contact tracing, though.
  4. BurnsWhenIPee

    BurnsWhenIPee Well-Known Member

    Re: "I'm not sure I'm cut out for it."

    What do you have to lose? Why look at an opportunity that is being handed over on a silver platter, and decide it won't work out? Why not try it first, go in with a positive attitude and see if you are good at it and like it? Seems like it would be a fairly decent way to get some money coming in on a part-time basis.

    It seems like this is a running theme in this thread - people try to help you, whether it's job/resume/interview coaching you give up on, jobs you talk yourself out of before even pursuing, and jobs you are convinced everyone hates you in, so you want to quit and feel sorry for yourself. Even the unemployment benefits, where you were denied and seemed resigned to the belief you did something wrong, so you were going to throw your hands up and walk away.

    I'm not trying to be mean, but at some point, you have to take responsibility for things not working out because you go in with a defeatist attitude, even when people are going out of their way to help you.
  5. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    When this whole thing started, I was fairly optimistic. Now here I am, 1 1/2 years and God knows how many resumes sent out later, no closer to where I need to be when I started.

    If you can stay optimistic after all of that, you're a better man than I am.
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2020
  6. BurnsWhenIPee

    BurnsWhenIPee Well-Known Member

    You don't need to be optimistic to stop shitting on every opportunity that people go out of their way to hand to you.

    I've been there, laid off from a job I loved and the only profession I ever knew. I had to sit and watch as my wife and children grew increasingly fearful of what our future would be, as I sent out dozens of resumes and application materials every week, with only a few relevant nibbles, as the clock wound down on my severance and unemployment. I know exactly what it feels like. If I still had a sizeable life insurance policy from my old job, I probably would have considered having a one-car "auto accident" that would have allowed my family to collect on my death.

    No matter how desperate I got, or how my optimism and self-worth was sapped from every part of my body on a daily basis, the thought of turning away legitimate help and opportunities from friends and loved ones never crossed my mind. And I got to where I am now - in corporate PR, where I am excited every morning to get out of bed and go to a supportive environment with people I love working with, for more money than I ever would have made in newspapers - because I accepted help and tips that people offered to me. It wasn't a straight-line journey, but was born of relationships that developed when I took a meeting, and a part-time job and freelance work, then this person knew that person who used to work with this person, etc., to get to where I am now. You never know what can come of taking a meeting or a coffee or an information-seeking interview for an opportunity, no matter how useless you may see it being.

    It's not about being "optimistic" or being a better man. It's about deciding whether you want to get out of this hole or you're content to play the victim and find reasons to turn down any offers of help that come your way.
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2020
  7. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    This is so spot-on, and lots of us can relate. Different than what you used to do doesn't have to mean it's worse, or not something you could be happy and successful in.

    You might have to do some things you don't want to do, or that you never thought you'd do, in order to get to a better place, but it'll happen at some point if you allow it, and the results/changes might surprise you.

    I've posted on here before that I was close to having to sell my home, I moved in with family members and worked in a variety of temp, freelance and part-time jobs before, in a very real sense, Walmart rescued me after what was a struggle lasting more than three years. I haven't pushed it too much, because, well, it's Walmart, and, I know, who wants to work at Walmart if they don't have to? But honestly, sometimes, you've got to start somewhere, and I've been shocked to be happily ensconced there for nearly 10 years now.

    The work is more physical than most people would think, and I work hard. Indeed, sometimes, I'm exhausted, and yes, I don't think I'm paid enough for what I give to the job. But that's no different than it was when I was in newspapers. And I appreciate the reality now that I actually have a pretty good job, with decent benefits, a great 401k, quarterly bonuses, and a store manager I enjoy working for/with, and who I think believes in and trusts me. I have a group of 10 associates and a rapidly-growing, way-of-the-future department that I manage, as well as a real, actual, kind of fascinating business, or "store within a store," as we call our departments, all within eight minutes' driving time from my home. Which I managed to hang on to and pay off a couple of years ago with the help of this job.

    There's so much opportunity here that, now, I sometimes wish I would have started at Walmart 10 or 15 years earlier/younger, because I think I would've flown up the ranks and been practically rolling in dough as a salaried member of market or regional management by now. Despite my being unlikely to have that chance, as I begin thinking more about retirement, I also know that retirement might not happen -- might not need to happen, unless I want it -- because I work for a company for which I can move/transfer almost anywhere in the country, and the world, and I know that might come in handy, too, as I'm likely to be looking into more affordable locations to live on a fixed/lesser income in the years ahead.

    The point is, you've got to keep trying different things, Smallpotatoes, and stop being so negative and fatalistic. I know it's not easy, but you're not helping yourself, and you never know what might end up piquing your interest and working for you, for whatever reasons.

    Remember, nobody is coming. It's up to you, so don't give up. Life really is good, especially after it's bad.
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2020
  8. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    A few somewhat good things.

    I emailed the Catholic churches about the job I interviewed for right before everything shut down. Everything is still on hold but they hope to hire someone by Sept. 1. Sounds like I'm still in the running.

    There's this financial services company that has a writer/editor position that I've applied for a few times. About 1 1/2 years ago, I did a phone interview with them and took a skills test. They decided that I wasn't the right fit. Recently, I applied for the job for the fourth time and they asked for a writing sample. Maybe they are willing to consider me after all.
  9. studthug12

    studthug12 Active Member

    That is great that you're showing perseverance and applying for jobs multiple times. After I was laid off from Gannett (I was already looking for other work), I applied for a third time at a medical facility for comm specialist position. I was hired and I said what was it that made the difference this time? They said they could tell I really wanted the job and my diligence in keeping after a position I really wanted. Dogged determination is something you can say on a resume but showing it with multiple resumes sent is showing it.
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