I laughed out loud.

This was posted by commenter "williamyard" on a New Republic web item linking to that New York Magazine piece bashing Columbia's j-school. I don't know if he made it all up or stole some of it. Regardless, I enjoyed it immensely.

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Good journalism? Try these handy tips:

1. Who, What, When, Where, Why.

2. Yellow tape!

3. Another one bites the dust.

4. Nudity. Sex. Nude sex. Hookers!

5. Holidays! Can't get enough of 'em! Santas! Turkeys! Groundhogs! Flags!

6. Kids these days.

7. The homeless: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

8. Guys in uniform saluting other guys in uniforms. Or killing bad guys. Or killing other guys in uniforms.

9. A baby something or other is being bottle-fed at the zoo!

10. Republican: "Democrats are evil."

11. Democrat: "Republicans are evil."

12. Despite losing both legs and one arm in an unfortunate thresher accident, this young lady plays a poignant cello.

13. Parsnips are in season!

14. Craigslist: Threat or Menace?

15. Old white guy pans movie marketed to 14-year-old girls.

16. All these young black men killing each other. Just a damn shame.

17. China: Do they own us yet?

18. Palestinians: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

19. Photo of 7'8", 103-pound Ukrainian fashion model wearing a $30,000 plastic garbage bag.

20. New medical breakthrough absolutely guaranteed to cure cancer next week; scientist urges caution, however.

21. Pointy-headed liberal New England academics out of touch, claims unemployed Ozark trailer-park incest mom.

22. Beefy guy with 17 hypodermic needles sticking out of his ass sets world record.

23. Hundreds wait in line for three days in freezing rain to buy Apple's latest superfluous, fragile toy.

24. High school class cleans toxins from creek, saves endangered tapeworm.

25. Promising young multi-talented actor overdoses in Malibu mansion on combination of alcohol, cocaine, heroin, speed, floor wax, Tiger Balm, transmission fluid, and Rogaine. "He was...so depressed," sobs outrageously gorgeous supermodel girlfriend.

26. Insurance company buys hardware chain. Bank buys insurance company. U.S. Treasury buys bank. Putin buys U.S. Treasury.

27. Al Franken!

28. Fifth graders more proficient at recognizing teacher, study finds.

29. Terrorist baby-eating plot thwarted, despite lack of evidence there was such a thing.

30. Hookers!

 

Outstanding.

 

31. The Door!

 

I'm horrible, but that made me laugh.

 

That reads like it was written by one of us.

 

Thought for sure this was going to be about: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09090/959540-100.stm

Former city editor at Beaver County paper sues for sexual discrimination.

 

Don't know any of the details, but that looks like a tough one to prove. Her downward career path is hardly unique.