I knew it, Michael Vick is an Al-Qaeda Opperative

So some prison inmate in South Caroline has filed a lawsuit against Michael Vick. The documents submitted to the court, which were hand written mind you, outline the inmate's case against Vick in which he is requesting 63 Quintillion Dollars.The lawsuit claims that Vick stole two pitbulls from the inmate and briefly used them in his dogfighting ring before selling them on Ebay and using to proceeds to buy missles from the Iranian government. The defendent claims that Vick did all of this because in February he pledged his allegiance to Al-Qaeda and became an opperative for them. Man, I never dreamed that the day would come where Fox News would outdo The Onion.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293268,00.html

 

Gives an all-new meaning to the term "rocket arm."

 

Check out this piece of official documentation. Words fail me.

http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/riches_jonathan_file.pdf

 

dude, there were restrictions on typewriters. otherwise a very, very solid piece of law.

 

This was posted on the other Vick thread (which is probably locked by now; I haven't checked), but it's probably worthy of its own thread. People need to be able to read this fantastically hilarious story without wading through Sportsbruh's bullshit on the other thread.

I love that the dude wants the 63 BILLION DOLLARS </drevil> backed in gold and silver and delivered to the front gates of the prison he's in.

 

"Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes."

Awesome. Could have been written by any Falcons fan.

 

brilliant piece of prose.

 

Mark it down, kids. Riches v. Vick is going to be a staple in law school courses for years to come.