I just went in the ladies' room!

I made a mistake in a bar not too long ago.

It was an old place, crappy, small faded signs, and both of the bathroom doors were right on the other side of a couple dart machines filled with guys playing, so there wasn't exactly much time to study. So I just went in the first one without really thinking about it.

It was a sit down situation, making it even worse. So I'm sitting there, and I sort of hear the guys outside playing darts laughing about something, then I start studying the walls (this is a college bar, btw) and notice there are hundreds of names etched in or drawn on ... all of them girls names. Then it hit me. I finished my duty (it was a one banger) and got the hell out, staring a hole in the floor as I left.

 

And when people look back at history, trough urination will be one of those things that nobody can grasp how it ever existed.

 

In 6th grade, my best friend and I stayed after school for a yearbook meeting and were walking down an empty corridor when we decided it was the perfect time to check out what the boys' bathroom looked like. We walked into the empty bathroom, looked around and were on our way out when we ran into a boy (who later became a good friend of ours) who said, "Interesting, isn't it?" *Very* embarrassing for 2 11-year old girls.

 

Dropped the kids at the pool, did you?

 

I noticed one day when they were working on our ladies' restroom they have a nice chair and table in there.

The only couches in our building are in the lunchroom, and one is always occupied by our retired columnist who comes down to watch television (he refuses to pay for air conditioning or cable at his home). Sometimes he even takes a nap in there. We said we're going in there one day when he's asleep and start smacking him like they do on "Jackass."

"Bombing the harbor" will have me laughing all night.

 

From a fellow male SportsJournalists.com poster: (When using the troughs,) You just have to follow protocol: Look straight ahead, don't linger, no chit chat.

And hence the reason for couches. Us gals need a place to chit-chat.

 

I don't care what you're supposed to do. Those things creep me out.

 

Jeez T-Bags, never had a nickname, not familiar with Junior Griffey, never seen ice in a urinal. Were you raised in a bubble?

 

What do you talk about? The hot guy at the bar? The fat guy picking his nose? The wedgie that loud, obnoxious girl has?

 

I ran into the women's room the other day while it was filled with about six women and as many kids.

My daughter and I were at a big area park when she needed to go. She didn't want to go to the nasty men's room with Dad anymore. She wanted to go to the girls' room because she's a girl and that's where girls go.

So I let her go in by herself. I'm proud and nervous at the same time, carefully watching the door to make sure there's no way she gets out somehow without me knowing it. But nearly 10 minutes go by and I'm really getting nervous so I get closer to the door, crowding the women and kids as they come out.

Finally I hear, "Daaaaaaad!!!"

Instincts take over and I rush in. I'm trying not to look at more than I should but it's difficult because I need to find my kid. There she is in front of the sink, visibly upset because she can't reach the spout to wash her hands.

I grab her and tell her it's OK and then notice that all the women are looking at me. Some were bewildered. Some looked like they understood and some glared at me like I was the worst parent ever. One of the understanding moms told me she would help my daughter and kinda ushered me out with her body language.

Felt stupid but I would do it again.

Add: Just as a side note, I consider it a learning experience for both of us. Since then, she hasn't asked to go alone but I've let her go in her own stall in the men's room (with me next to her) and it seems to be a good compromise, for now.

 

May I recommend a sidebar thread here: Shitting in a bar.

If the brown trout ever rings the anal doorbell while enjoying a night on the town, never, under any circumstances, drop thy deuce off in the men's room. Always head to the ladies' side of the latrine ledger.

 

Interesting choice of kids there ....