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I have to burn my apartment down

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Rhody31, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    We had a bat in the house today.
    Mrs. Rhody had gone to bed an hour earlier and I was watching TV when I saw something fly across the room. Realizing it was a bat, I didn't wha any man would do - covered myself in a blanket and freaked the fuck out.
    I called the Mrs and told her to make sure the upstairs doors were closedd she crept downstairs, but the bat flew in her direction. I needed to act fast to save my wife.
    I ran screaming - and that's being generous because it was more of a high pitched squeal - out the door, leaving it open in hopes the bat would follow me out.
    I felt something on the back of my blanket as I exited the doorway. So I took two steps and jumped over the railing on my porch.
    Bat was still inside but was in the kitchen , so the wife ran out the other door. We both sat outside on opposite ends of our home. After 30 minutes or so we did t hear anything, so we assumed the bat got out. We checked room by room and it appeared he was gone.
    I'm in her now, but there's no way I'm gonna be able to sleep.
    Anyway, for anyone who's had a bat, is there a next step for tomorrow? Call animal control? Or do I just burn the place down and start anew?
  2. JC

    JC Well-Known Member

    If you want to sleep I'd suggest getting out of her.
  3. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    That might be my most favorite iPhone typo ever. No idea how it happened.
    And after tonight's showing vs the bat, probably never gonna be in her again.
  4. Bradley Guire

    Bradley Guire Well-Known Member

    Go to the nearest video store and rent "The Great Outdoors" to plot your next encounter. Good luck.
  5. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    It's lulling you into complacency, then it will attack.

    They are vicious and very crafty; some might say devious, even.
  6. da man

    da man Well-Known Member

    It's quiet. ... Too quiet.
  7. FileNotFound

    FileNotFound Well-Known Member

    In the unlikely event it makes you feel any better, I want to go on record in front of all of our readers and say that's exactly what I would have done.
  8. One of my earliest memories is my dad running around in his tightie whities with a towel trying to catch a bat that was flying around the house.
  9. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    You can be sure as fuck Bruce Wayne didn't act this way when he saw his first bat.
  10. Here me roar

    Here me roar Guest

  11. jackfinarelli

    jackfinarelli Member

    First, you need to find out how the bat got into your place. This may not be easy since they can slither through cracks about 1/4 of an inch wide. If you do not find - and seal off - that entrance point, there is a chance that he/she might come back for another visit.

    Sealing off the entrance point can be done in a variety of ways. If it is a small crack or opening between a window frame and the wall, caulk will do the job. If it is a larger hole, you may need to put a wood board in place over the gap.
  12. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Unless you are a mosquito, I am confident you are in little danger from the bat.
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