I have to burn my apartment down

We had a bat in the house today.
Mrs. Rhody had gone to bed an hour earlier and I was watching TV when I saw something fly across the room. Realizing it was a bat, I didn't wha any man would do - covered myself in a blanket and freaked the fuck out.
I called the Mrs and told her to make sure the upstairs doors were closedd she crept downstairs, but the bat flew in her direction. I needed to act fast to save my wife.
I ran screaming - and that's being generous because it was more of a high pitched squeal - out the door, leaving it open in hopes the bat would follow me out.
I felt something on the back of my blanket as I exited the doorway. So I took two steps and jumped over the railing on my porch.
Bat was still inside but was in the kitchen , so the wife ran out the other door. We both sat outside on opposite ends of our home. After 30 minutes or so we did t hear anything, so we assumed the bat got out. We checked room by room and it appeared he was gone.
I'm in her now, but there's no way I'm gonna be able to sleep.
Anyway, for anyone who's had a bat, is there a next step for tomorrow? Call animal control? Or do I just burn the place down and start anew?

 

If you want to sleep I'd suggest getting out of her.

 

That might be my most favorite iPhone typo ever. No idea how it happened.
And after tonight's showing vs the bat, probably never gonna be in her again.

 

Go to the nearest video store and rent "The Great Outdoors" to plot your next encounter. Good luck.

 

It's lulling you into complacency, then it will attack.

They are vicious and very crafty; some might say devious, even.

 

It's quiet. ... Too quiet.

 

In the unlikely event it makes you feel any better, I want to go on record in front of all of our readers and say that's exactly what I would have done.

 

One of my earliest memories is my dad running around in his tightie whities with a towel trying to catch a bat that was flying around the house.

 

You can be sure as fuck Bruce Wayne didn't act this way when he saw his first bat.

 

Broom.

 

First, you need to find out how the bat got into your place. This may not be easy since they can slither through cracks about 1/4 of an inch wide. If you do not find - and seal off - that entrance point, there is a chance that he/she might come back for another visit.

Sealing off the entrance point can be done in a variety of ways. If it is a small crack or opening between a window frame and the wall, caulk will do the job. If it is a larger hole, you may need to put a wood board in place over the gap.

 

Unless you are a mosquito, I am confident you are in little danger from the bat.