I guess I'm a coach now ...

I think the key is two things.
1. Like mentioned before, spacing. If you can figure out how to keep the little turds from not running in a pack you'll be able to write the book about youth soccer and thus make millions.
2. Maintain the profile on the sidelines that you really don't give a damn about this coaching stuff.

 

Teach them as much as you can while still allowing them to have fun.

 

Thanks everyone. Some real solid advice here. I'm definitely going to have snacks for all, and hopefully we can have some enthusiastic kicking and lots of high-fives for the kids when it's time to sub out. I kind of hope an opposing coach is a stereotypical hard ass losern who tries to teach his team plays just so I have a good story to tell.

 

My advice for practice at this age:

1.) You'll lose their attention if you take longer than 10 seconds to explain something -- so keep it brief and simple.

2.) Every kid has a ball at their feet the entire practice. The favorite game my kids like to play is simply to kick the ball and try to hit me as I run around the field, then when I get hit I really play it up. We start almost every practice that way until all of the kids show up. The simpler the game the better. With that simple game they practice dribbling, shooting and spacing -- all in one while having fun.

3.) No standing in lines (the worst "drill" imaginable is to have the kids stand in line and take turns kicking the ball at the goal).

This site has a lot of good ideas for practice games to get you started ...

http://www.footy4kids.co.uk/

 

It's never too early for the newspaper to start costing kids scholarships.

 

Explain to the kids that soccer is the most popular sports in the world, and Americans who don't want to watch soccer are xenophobic at best and probably jingoistic to boot.

 

teach the kids how to play the Vuvuzela so they are prepared for when the World Cup comes to the USA in 2075.

 

Make sure they're shooting at the right goal.

 

Teach them not to dribble before they shoot.

 

Remember you're there to win and so are the kids. Nobody likes a loser. You start training them to "have fun" and they'll only grow up to be soft. The kids who aren't any good, make sure they only see the field when the score is so far out of reach even they can't possibly blow it -- you know they aren't going to have a future in soccer anyways, especially if they come from a poor family that can't afford to send them to soccer camp or throw a team party at the end of the year.


Oh and remember, no mercy.

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Basically don't be douche and you should be fine. If a kids parent decides to be a douche (and there will be one) hit them over the with a chair. or tell them to fuck off. Whatever works.

 

I'm not sure what would make this funnier: If it was true, or if it was false. Either way, Boom is bringing the dynamite on this thread:

 

Absolutely true - His daughters team played my nieces team.