I can't figure her out for the life of me: UPDATED

I remember someone else on here creating an alias to discuss an otherwise private sitch, so here goes.

We all have one person in this world who just is "it." I met that woman a year and a half ago.

She and I had a wonderful time together. It wasn't too rushed, we didn't spend 24/7 together, it was nice, comfortable, each and every little thing was in sync. I didn't think such a relationship was possible, and if it was, I certainly wasn't capable or even worthy of it.

As friends and lovers, we dovetailed so nicely, whether we went on a weekend trip or napped together on the couch. We didn't talk about commitment, we didn't say "I love you" to each other, even though that was probably in the pipeline. I felt fantastic. Every kiss was like Christmas.

Her job takes her out of the country a lot. When she was on the road, we'd have long IM conversations. I'd write and tell her stories from my so-called wonderful childhood. She would tell me how smart and funny I am.

But then suddenly one day, after a couple of months of bliss, she said she couldn't see me any more. She had just moved here, just broken off an engagement before that, work was tough. And my sitch wasn't much better, having been out of a destructive relationship for a few months. She said it best when she said "I wish I would've met you a year from now." Needless to say, it sucked.

Several months roll by. I join facebook. Not really knowing how it worked, instead of simply viewing her profile, I inadvertently sent her a friend request. I got kinda sick to my stomach, but to my relief and surprise, she wrote back, and we started communicating again.

We went to a couple of concerts, stuff like that. When we parted company, we had long, slow, closed-mouth kisses. Kissing that went on for like ten minutes or so. Eventually, we had the talk. I told her how I felt. I told her that I wanted to see her and get to know each other again with an eye toward getting back together. She said she wanted to be a friend, but when I busted out the get to know each other again part, she nodded. Neutrally.

So life goes on. But I've had a bit of trouble with it. I've dated more than my fair share of women this year. Some I've slept with, others, nah. Sometimes it was with a f-buddy, sometimes a sympathy lay, sometimes, it was just the liquor talking. I haven't even been able to think about dating a woman seriously. I see the potential for one here and there, but my mind always drifts off to her, even though I'm strong enough and confident enough to go out with other women. Not as much as JDV, but I do pretty good for a schmuck like me.

The communication picked up again. I told her I was moving some stuff into storage for a bit, and she asked me half-jokingly if she could keep it for me in her pad. "Sure, what the hell" I said. She was just giddy. I ask her to a show that's playing here next Wednesday. Three of our favorite bands. I scalped great seats, and she's coming with me.

With all that said, I can't help but wonder what's going on here? I wonder how I should behave. Like a gentleman or aloof? I definitely wonder what's going through her mind. I wonder how I'm gonna handle it.

Thoughts?

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

Sitch? That's the first I've seen anyone abbreviate situation ...

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

She's definitely interested in you. Be yourself and continue to spend time with her; if she's the one, things will work out. No acting. It appears as though she wanted to get back together, but was maybe unsure about how you felt. You've allowed her an entry and she has responded positively. Go with that and see where it leads.

Good luck.

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

So we can assume she's not a virgin? That's a step in the right direction...

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

10-minute closed mouth kisses?

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

I thought JayFarrar started this thread.

EDIT: Damnit. Cadet beat me by four hours.

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

Yeah, I wondered about that, too. Thought maybe they were sixth-graders until I read about the fuck buddies.

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

Yeah, I could see how you would gloss over that travel out of the country bit.

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

Perhaps Owl-flavored is a fan of Kim Possible.

I hate to say it, but this woman seems to have Owl-Flavored pegged as somebody she met at the wrong time and she seems to be having a hard time putting that aside. Maybe she will come to her senses, but once someone pegs you a certain way, it can be difficult to get her to see you differently.

Hopefully she comes around, but at some point you have to stop putting up with the game-playing, even if it is unintentional on her part, just for your own sanity.

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.


Good luck ever figuring women out owly.

Hope this works for you, though.

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

Maybe she's a virgin after all?

 

Re: I can't figure her out for the life of me.

KY has obviously never seen Clueless, which did "sitch" about 15 years ago.

Anyway, Owly, good luck. I see it completely differently than how CI sees it. I think she likes knowing you like her, and knowing she can toy with you. The way she's acted when you've talked about getting to know each other tells you the truth. Right now, she knows she can string you along, then push you away. Some girls get off on that.

I hope I'm wrong.