I came *this close* to becoming one of those obnoxious parents (a mini-rant)

So my kids were entered in their Cubs Scouts' annual fishing derby today. Last year, the fish were biting like crazy, and kids were catching 7, 8, 9 fish apiece.

But this year, there weren't as many kids (maybe 10) entered, and only four of them, including my youngest, caught one fish apiece.

They had four trophies to award the kids. Biggest Fish, Smallest Fish, First Fish (for the first one caught) and Most Fish.

My youngest had one of the two fishes that was in the middle of biggest and smallest, and his was the third fish caught. Fair enough. The kid who had the biggest fish also had the first. But the Cub Scout leader declared that no kid should get two trophies, and let the second kid who caught a fish get the First Fish trophy.

The the Scout leader declared that since no one had caught more than one fish, that the trophy shouldn't be awarded. Leaving my son as the only one of the four kids who didn't get a trophy.


I was quite tempted to quietly go up the leader and suggest she declare a four-way tie for the Most Fish award, and give it to my son. I grumbled to my wife, but she told me to keep quiet and said we should just be good sports about it.

One of the other scout leaders was suggesting to the main leader that every kid get the trophy, but she was adamant because it said, "Most Fish" on the trophy plaque.
He was a bit disappointed, although I think he handled it well. He just asked, "Do I get a trophy?" a couple of times. But now he's at home, watching The Littles movie on Netflix.

Yeah, I know, some don't like the "every kid gets a trophy" mentality. But when 3 out of 4 kids get awarded, well, it just doesn't seem fair to me.

End of rant.

 

He'll be fine. You didn't overreact. He picked up on that. You did him a favor.
He'll be fine.

 

Better to get no trophy than to explain yours is for "smallest fish."

Kids (most of them) are smart enough to realize the difference between an earned trophy and a patronizing one and will cherish the one that is earned, even though it may take a little longer to win it.

 

I don't have any kids, but you might want to emphasize that being outdoors catching fish is its own reward. Not sure if he'd buy it, but it's worth a shot.

Also, seems like there's a Dr. Seuss book in there.

 

You should have raised a stink about second fish kid getting the first fish trophy. That's BS.

 

I agree with that. The parent of the would-be two-trophy winner has a beef.

Your Cub Scout has probably already forgotten it.

 

Actually, I think if I were a dad I would take the opportunity to tell the kid that people quite often fail to do the best and wisest thing; that they do the wrong thing usually because they're unthoughtful and not out of spite; that they are probably good people trying to do the best they can; that he should strive to look at things through the other person's eyes as the scout leader failed to do; that, yes, you and he could have raised a stink about it and "won" a trophy; that you have to know what is important in life and that a fishing trophy is not that important; that when something is important, that's when you really fight for what's right.

 

I can understand your frustration, but this could be a good experience for your kid in the long run. I know several adults who always won everything as kids and never learned how to handle this kind of disappointment. Today they have no idea how to handle it when their boss isn't fair or another person in the office gets a big bonus and they don't. To me, the best lesson you can learn as a kid is that sometimes things suck and you got to deal with it.

 

Why stop there, poo? Why not rip it from the kid's hands and give it to his own kid. That'll teach the little bastard.

 

Maybe this will motivate him to catch the first fish next year, and then catch 25 more, including the biggest and smallest.

 

I don't understand the need to have trophies at a Cub Scout fishing fair. It's a good day to spend outdoors with friends and doing something fun like fishing. Can't that be enough?

So for me, it goes beyond the "trophies for everyone" mentality and lands at the "trophies for everything" mind-set. Catch some fish, take some photos and learn some fishing skills and knowledge. Then move on.

 

You know that saying ...

If you give a child a trophy, you reward him for a day. If you teach him he can go to a specialty store and custom design any kind of trophy he wants, you reward him for a lifetime.

Or maybe it's ...

If you give a child a trophy, you feed him for a day. If you teach him how to land a trophy wife, you feed his ego for a lifetime.

Or maybe it's ...