I AM NOT THE FATHER OF ANNA NICOLE'S BABY GIRL!

Just wanted to get that off my chest. I'll hold a press conference later this afternoon to answer any questions from the press.

Now that I'm officially out of the running, that leaves roughly 2.5 million men suspect.

 

Mr. Hack! Quick question! What are your thoughts on the UL men's team and its inability to establish any consistency?

 

FH....you are NOT the father!! ;D

 

Yeah, I had to take myself out of the running in that race, too.

 

Her dead son is the father of her baby

 

Maybe you'd like to tell us about hair styles of the 70s during your presser.

 

Unavailable for comment:

 

As someone who has followed Cardinal basketball for years and is not the father of Anna Nicole's baby, I believe Louisville's inability to establish consistency is a direct result of the injuries the team has sustained over the last couple seasons.

There's talent there, and many of the players are quite capable of being Anna Nicole's baby's daddy, but until the core group can stay healthy for an extended period of time, we'll never know just how talented they are.

 

I'll tell you two things you don't know about me.

1. I secretly wish I could grow an Art Garfunkel 'fro.
2. I am not the father of Anna Nicole's baby girl.

 

JDV is out of the running, too. His balls are shriveled up like grapes.

 

It aint' mine. I pulled out.

 

Heyyy.... not a bad conspiracy theory...