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Humorous similes and metaphors from high school essays

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by ondeadline, Apr 14, 2007.

  1. ondeadline

    ondeadline Well-Known Member

  2. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    I think that's actually a great line. Fucking brilliant.
  3. I've read these somewhere else recently. Actually, a few of them are ingenius - 18 and 20 are my favorite in addition to 6 ... 17 and 19 would work in (intentional) humor writing.
  4. I've seen this list before. I suspect it's not actually from high-school essays, not that it really matters. They're funny either way.
  5. CentralIllinoisan

    CentralIllinoisan Active Member

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

    Those three above are pretty good ... I'd laugh out loud that those ... Just sayin'
  6. SockPuppet

    SockPuppet Active Member

    Agree on 17 and 19 being clever. Also liked 14.

    Take your six faves and play 'em as lottery numbers, couldn't hurt.
  7. Unibomber

    Unibomber Member

    These are EVEN FUNNIER when you imagine Homer Simpson saying these lines while sitting at the bar in Moe's.
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