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HS Coach Feature

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by FantasyAlliance.cm, Apr 9, 2007.

  1. As others have said, the lead is not very good at all. It’s the sports equivalent of the “There was a council meeting last night at city hall” lead on the news side. It’s simply not good enough.

    I probably would have gone with the “making the kid jog” anecdote, using it to explain how he quickly put his mark on the program.

    And, as an aside, he seems like a real ass. Yelling at a high school kid in public—whether he says he regrets it or not—tells me that this guy doesn’t have the whole perspective thing down (as did the making the kid jog in the state final story).

    To bring it back to your story, if the incidents you described were isolated, I would have tried to find a more positive anecdote to tell--how he helped some kid stay in school, or how he once saved a truck full of puppies, whatever. As it stands now, I feel like writing a letter to the people that gave him the award suggesting that they have their heads examined.
     
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