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How's this for a news story?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by The Big Ragu, Jul 26, 2008.

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  1. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member


    I swear I love my BBC RSS feed more than anything. This is the perfect story. It 1) reaffirms every bad European stereotype of Americans; 2) Has the mother of all mugshots; 3) Has the "well, duh!" cutline underneath the picture that is worth 1,000 words, "Witnesses told police Mr Walendowski appeared to have been drinking."; 4) Gets in the money quote: "It's my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want."; and 5) Gets in a second money quote for good measure: "Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty," said Dick Wagner, of Wagner's Garden Mart in Milwaukee.
  2. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    "A 56-year-old man from the Midwestern US state of Wisconsin..."

    Fenian ???
  3. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Let's say you do get 6 1/2 years for shooting your lawn mower. Your first day in prison, when the other inmates ask what you are in for, what to do you say?
  4. dargan

    dargan Active Member

    "The lawn mower was found sitting outside Mr Walendowski's house, which he shares with his mother, with the rubbish on Friday."

  5. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    Not the mother's of all d_b's: http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/59125/
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    But it wasn't the BBC's story. Whole different paradigm. D_B is revoked.
  7. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    D_B lover.
  8. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    for the love of piss, why not destroy the board with d_bs? christ.
  9. I'm starting a new thread about your 20,000th post.
  10. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    well, for fucking out loud. why. the. fuck. not?
  11. But mine will be different, Tom. I'll write it like I'm living in Britain: Tom Petty, the irascible poster from the continental United States who has become a fan favourite, has surpassed the 20,000 post milestone.
  12. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    nib-like (weak), but still better than this thread ... i guess.
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