How would you pitch it?

OK, here's the game: You are a writer who just finished a script you want to sell to a Hollywood bigwig. How would you sell it?

Pick a movie and tell us how you think the pitch session went.

For example, the movie "Over the Top," starring Sly Stallone was probably pitched like this:

"OK, here's the story ... a hyper-masculine, arm-wrestling truck driver fights for custody of his overly effeminite, possibly gay son. We already have a young Martina Hingis attached to play the part of the son.



Oh, and when our hero turns his hat around, it's like Bruce Banner turning into the Incredible Hulk.
Sick, right?"

"Will Robert Loggia be involved?"

"Sure."

"Let's make it!"


And yes, I'm drunk.

 

Pern, you pick the movie, I'll pitch it like a Zito curve.

 

OK ... hmm .... alright, "Virtuosity," an astoundingly bad movie featuring Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. Have at it.

 

Damn, haven't seen it.

 

OK, how about "Johnny Mnemonic"? (sp?)

 

BP, man, you're coming out of left field with these titles.

I'm having an in-depth IM conversation about Mike Hampton and his lack of skills at life itself. He looks like a younger Clint Hurdle. He could play him in a movie.

 

Ok, I'll try something a little less shitty ...

How about Thelma & Louise?

 

I'm pretty sure I was five when that came out. I know it has Susan Sarrandon (SP) and one of the big actors.

 

Fer chrissakes, man!

OK, I'll throw out a bunch, see if you get one of them!

Commando
Die Hard
XXX (Vin Diesel-style, not Jenna Jameson)
Jingle All the Way
Kindergarten Cop
Top Gun
Se7en
Sam I Am
Training Day

 

"In this movie, Adam Sandler plays a nice-guy kook with fists of steel who successfully proves himself in a completely unrealistic scenario involving an academic decathlon in which he has to pass Grade 12, hit a hole-in-one, sing, raise Jon Stewart's bastard son, give away $40 billion and singlehandedly win not one but two football games against obviously superior competition. Along the way, he enjoys the support of devoted friends who for the most part seem intelligent enough to really know better, PLUS he wins the love of many gorgeous babes who in real life would be way too hot for him."

"What's the title?"

"Billy Happy Wedding Yard Daddy Deeds Waterboy."

"Genius. How soon can you start?"

 

A nice variation on the theme.

 

I don't think I'm able to play this game, but DJ will help you out. I'm just thinking about a first date I had at "XXX: State of the Union."