How will the world end?

Massive deaths from boob jobs and penile implant surgeries gone bad.

The teenagers will be the first to go.

 

Whenever I read the news links from the Life After the Oil Crash site I begin looking for the nearest high bridge. Here's some of today's gems (all in a row):

FinancialSense.com: Expect a Massive Banking Crisis Within 18 Months
-- Billions have been magicked out of nothing by this financial alchemy, but in
the end, there is no way of turning dross into gold, and the reckoning had
to come. And someone had to pay - which is where we, the people, come
in. As happened in the 1930s, the whole system is collapsing.

Sunday Herald: The Entire Financial System is Now Collapsing
-- Billions have been magicked out of nothing by this financial alchemy, but in
the end, there is no way of turning dross into gold, and the reckoning had
to come.

Harpers Magazine: "Financial Armageddon is nigh"
-- Both the production-consumption sector and the FIRE [finance, insurance
and real estate] sector know that a debt-inflation Armageddon is nigh, and
both are praying for a timely miracle, a new bubble to keep the economy
from slipping into a depression

 

The draught wars, when Miller and Bud finally decide to duke it over dwindling supplies of hops.
Or maybe I meant Drought Wars. As in the world goes dry and people fight over water.
Me = fail.

 

It was a very ironic movie...

 

If it's Miller vs. Bud, I'm gonna remain neutral.

 

This thread is just brimming with optimism.

 

If Miller and Bud were the last two beers left in the world, I think I'd have to stop drinking...

 

Yawn's head will finally implode and the world will be sucked into the resulting vacuum.

 

I think a virus is the most likely candidate for changing the world as we know it. Something mutates in a jungle somewhere the right way, and half the earth could be dead before a scientist even figures out what's going on.

 

When did this turn into the depression thread?

happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy I hope this frog in my throat isn't Ebola meets HIV meets anthrax.

 

Some Canadian football team goes on a seven-continent killing spree of blitzes. It could happen.

 

Where's the option for all of the above?

Oil disappears, which results in power blackouts. Farmers can't run the pumps to irrigate their crops, which results in a food shortage. And within 40 years, we're living in a post-industrial society and the Amish are the only ones in the USA not affected by it.