How to Raise Your Gender Variant Preschooler

Your 2-year old boy says he wants to be treated like a girl.

Do you:

A) Gently explain the differences between boys and girls?

B) Take him to visit a steel mill?

C) Give him a Barbie, paint his finger and toenails, grow his hair long, allow him to wear girls clothes...and at age 5 when you're shocked to hear that he hates his penis, take him for counseling from "Heather Wright, a jovial and frank male-to-female transsexual with a hearty handshake"?

This lady chose C:

http://www.browardpalmbeach.com/Issues/2006-05-18/news/feature_2.html

 

Or what do you do if your 2-year-old son says: "I want the fairy princess to come and make my penis into a vagina."

 

oy vey.

 

I'm just glad that Spaceman's post wasn't : "I'd hit it."

 

When my boys were almost 3, they were still unable to even sit on a damn toilet.

I know people feel this way, but it's hard for me to believe they can enunciate it at 2.

When you are talking 5 and under, it would guess it's more the parent acting out than the kid.

 

Wow. Disturbing and strange.

 

Mom said:

My little boy sometimes hits his sisters. He spits. It's a phase. I say NO pretty often.

And this is a parenting dilemma I hope no one ever has to go through.

 

In your case, though, you could save money with hand-me-downs.

Oh, and unlike this mom's "common" experience, my boys have never asked me or Mrs. Ace to paint their fingernails or toenails or anything else.

 

I find it fascinating that this little boy seems to have such a clear sense at this age. I mean, kids often know if they're gay at that age, but not necessarily transgendered. And man, those parents are going to have a bitch of a time with it.

 

My little boy is just barely two. We think he's pretty sharp and with it. Still, he barely knows that he has a 'winky' at this point.

 

May be fascinating or it may be mom projecting.

 

You know its easy to make pithy remarks but harder to deal with the situation.

This mother (and father) appears to love her child very much and are trying to deal with it as best as they can. Nicole/Nicholas should not be a political football.

Toddlers/preschoolers go through a great deal and from my experience are very perceptive. Things can be phases or they can be the true desires coming out.

My boy (now 7) was in day care with 5 girls from 6 mos. through 3 and I thought it was nice for him to have girls as friends early on. Then at around 3 he started dressing up with his friends at play dates and at 3.5 wanted to wear dresses. As a father, that was very difficult to stomach. But my wife and I did some internet researched and found that this might just be a "phase" and that we should just go with the flow rather than make a big deal about it. So we allowed him to wear it only in the house. Well that lasted about 5 months then he never asked for that again.

His younger brother, (now 5) never had that experience and has always followed the expected gender thoughts and clothing.

That's not my way of saying that transgender or homosexuality is a "learned" trait. In fact I believe just the opposite, that its genetic.

My heart goes out to Nicole and her parents and hope they find their own version of happiness. Thanks for posting the article.