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How Not to Write a Column -- Sid! Style

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by zeke12, Oct 21, 2007.

  1. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest


    Let this be a lesson to everyone.

    Sid Hartman: Gophers will have biggest offensive day vs. Bison

    Minnesota squeaked past North Dakota State 10-9 last year, but it won't be that close this time. The Gophers are ready for a breakout performance.

    By Sid Hartman, Star Tribune

    Last update: October 18, 2007 – 8:34 PM

    The Jeff Sagarin computers ratings make North Dakota State a one-touchdown favorite to beat the Gophers on Saturday at the Metrodome.

    The Las Vegas oddsmakers don't offer a line on any games involving teams in the Football Championship Subdivision (formerly Division I-AA).

    However, the Sid Hartman pick is: Gophers 42, North Dakota State 21.

    This is a game the Gophers won't lose, even though with 25,000 visiting fans in the stands, there might not be much of a home-field advantage.

    NDSU (6-0) has an impressive record but against non-Big Ten opposition. The Bison have averaged 41.2 points per game and have some players with impressive stats this season. Quarterback Steve Walker has thrown for 1,224 yards and 11 touchdowns, and running back Tyler Roehl has rushed for an average of 122 yards and scored 13 touchdowns.

    Despite all of that, I'm convinced that last year's narrow escape by the Gophers -- a 10-9 victory over NDSU -- was an accident. They caught the Gophers on a bad day.

    The Gophers scored 31 in losing to Bowling Green, 41 in beating Miami (Ohio), 31 against Purdue and 48 against Northwestern, and they will have a big offensive day against NDSU.

    Freshman running back Duane Bennett is healthy, quarterback Adam Weber is getting better with each start, and he has three great receivers in Jack Simmons, Eric Decker and Ernie Wheelwright. They will score a lot of points against the team from Fargo. It will be a game in which the Gophers offense will have its biggest day.

    However, this is a big game for NDSU and it can get some serious national recognition if it can defeat the Gophers.

    NDSU is near the end of a five-year transition from Division II, during which the team can't participate in the 16-team postseason playoffs that determines the Championship Subdivision champion. However, the goal of the Bison, ranked No. 1 in their division in the coaches poll, is to beat the Gophers and go unbeaten. They have lost only one game in two years -- last year's defeat by the Gophers.

    As of Thursday afternoon, there were 2,000 tickets left for Saturday's game, with a good chance of a sellout of close to 65,000. Tickets for the NDSU game were priced at $30, but more than 8,000 end-zone seats sold for only $15.

    And, what actually happened:

  2. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    Hey Minnesota, how's that Glen Mason firing working out for you?

    At least he beat N.D. State.
  3. Ben_Hecht

    Ben_Hecht Active Member

    Sid should just put his head in any convenient oven, soon.

    You'll be able to hear the subsequent cheering in Aukland.
  4. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    He didn't "beat" ND State. He got bailed out by a blocked FG on the last play of the game.

    I'm glad they got rid of Mason. He sucked and he was an asshole.

    The bigger point is, Sid's an absolute moron. Vegas did offer odds on this game, and NDSU opened as 3.5-point favorites on the road. Anybody who knows anything about college football knows the Bison are for real.

    Between the horrible predictions and the flat out wrong statements in that column, it really should serve as a cautionary tale.
  5. Ben_Hecht

    Ben_Hecht Active Member

    Blind boosterism (especially when you consider the low-character cretins currently populating the Gopher roster this season) is letting down your readership, in a big way.

    But, hey . . . that's our Sidster.
  6. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    Yeah, but they still won the damn game in 2006.

    There's something to be said for survival.

    I've seen nothing from that team this year that would indicate they are headed in the right direction.
  7. On the scale of Sid! atrocities, this one ranks in the lowest 3000's I'd say.
  8. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Sadly, you're correct.

    But it still makes me chuckle.
  9. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    Sid needs a buyout.

    Or a labotomy.
  10. formulacola

    formulacola Member

    It's unfair to indict Brewster for this season. The basis for his hiring wasn't his coaching; it was the recruiting. Hell, the guy had never been a coordinator at any level before. We won't know a thing about whether it was a good hire or not for another couple years. It also didn't help that two defensive starters and a third defensive contributor were kicked off the team before the season because of alleged sexual assault.

    As for Mason, the program had plateaued. He did a nice job lifting them to the level of mediocrity. But he couldn't get past that level in his last seven years. My take's always been that you don't play football in the Big Ten to go to the Music City Bowl. Whether or not Brewster pans out, firing Mason was the right move. The chance had to be taken that someone else could take the program to the next level.
  11. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    In some respects, I agree. Almost any time a coach takes over another coach's players, there's gonna be a major adjustment period that'll often last a season or more.

    On the other hand, it's a Division I team playing a Division II team. Appalachian State/Michigan aside, there's no WAY a Division I team should ever lose to a Division II team. The talent gap is too great -- even on a shitty team like Minnesota.
  12. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    Well, a better Minnesota team had to block a FG at the gun to win last year, so I'm not sure how big the talent gap is.

    And it was on turf, so Minnesota should have had a distinct speed advantage.

    You can't blame the spread offense, either. NDSU lines it up and hits you in the mouth.

    The bottom line is that NDSU is a better team.

    Oh, and that Sid's a moron. Don't let that get lost in all the periphery.
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