How do you talk/pray to God?

I have chats in my head with him ... usually while I'm out walking the dog or hiking in the mountains.

I talk to my dad more than I talk to God, though.

 

What does he call you?

I pray in hebrew, some ancient verse that can be roughly translated into, 'I have no clue what you could have been thinking, but whatever, if you want to drive for a while I need a nap. Also, where did I leave my keys?'

 

Oh DO shut up.

 

Very rarely, admittedly. May take another decade or two before I resume regular convo.

 

I thought you were just having an orgasm in yiddish.

 

I do the sign of the cross, then begin rambling in hopes of forgiveness, good fortune and the Pirates coming to terms with Rocco Baldelli.

 

He's just alright with me.

 

Jesus does not really talk back. You'll know soon enough if your prayers are answered.

Sometimes for a complex question he will ask if you talked to God first and what was his opinion.

If I don't get the response I want, I try Allah but he has yet to take my calls. I might be facing the wrong way to reach him.

 

Yes, please do.

 

Except for the part about the keys, that sounds about right.

 

I think it was Chan Gailey who once summed up the way I changed my praying... someone asked him one time if he prayed for a win. He said he did, but in the event that wasn't in the cards, give him some lesson that would make him better for the experience of losing. I pray for needs but also understanding of things if it doesn't go my way. He's a better big-picture guy than I am.

When I pray every day for the people at my job, our precarious situations economically, I pray that in all of this we actually draw closer as a workplace, and more broadly, as a community and nation...not even stopping there, but that the world may see a better way.

And if that's a move for theocracy, so be it. We're a world so screwed up we need someone smarter than we to guide us.

 

See, this is what I don't get. I hope no one is offended by this, by why isn't God's word enough?

Like you use this father/son accounting practice, and the son does the tax returns...but everyone still wants to run it past the old man because he's the real expert. Jews understand this....we just refuse to see anyone but the old man.

No offense to anyone who prefers to use the son.

(Is this a bad sign that as I tried to post this, the site shut down for 10 minutes??)