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How do you reconnect when you move to a new town?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Kritter47, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    Typically, FH, there are few "young professionals" in BFE, unless you count the McDonald's and Wendy's managers.
     
  2. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    Local chambers of commerce also sponsor and facilitate some sort of leadership/community development training, too.
     
  3. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

    Where's my bullsh_t flag? (Nah, I believe wicked ... but he fit in well quickly). And he said one thing that won't be forgotten anytime soon. Then again, I'm a big social animal. ::)

    Literacy council or Big Brothers Big Sisters might be fulfilling if you're not looking to strictly meet peers and all that jazz. Does your employer have some volunteer-type opportunities? Ours does, but so much of it is targeted at the Dark Side crowd (8-5, Mon.-Fri.) and the rest of it doesn't appeal to me at all.

    Good luck, Kritter. If nothing else, wicked is here to drive you nuts. ;D
     
  4. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    How far are you from Tahoe?
     
  5. Kritter47

    Kritter47 Member

    15 minutes. Isn't everyone?
     
  6. cougargirl

    cougargirl Active Member

    If you work night hours, here's another idea - substitute teaching. Extra cash, for one thing.
     
  7. spup1122

    spup1122 Guest

    Pretty good idea cougargirl. It also allows you to meet new young teachers who may be in the same situation as you or may be more connected.
     
  8. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could join a local Dungeons and Dragons club, or sign up for a Strat-O-Matic hockey tournament?
    Paint ball?
    Volunteers as a tutor for the local literacy program?
    Art classes?
    Gym?
    Karate classes?
    Also, I'm not trying to be flippant, but how severe is your condition? How did you work around it to establish friendships in college?
     
  9. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    Mmmm, hot young teachers. [/drooling]

    Carry on.
     
  10. You're a sportswriter and don't have a company cell phone? That's a first.

    On a different note, I'm surprised no one mentioned meeting friends through work. I don't mean colleagues. I mean through sources. I've moved across the country, and all my friends are indirectly through people I've written on. You write features on so many people, and a good percentage of their parents and family will want to keep in touch with you if you show any inkling of having a soul. Then, they'll introduce you to their older kids and nieces and nephews. I've also gotten a number of date opportunities this way, though I declined because I feel weird about moms trying to set me up with their daughters. But I've met all my guy friends this way and then you meet their friends and then you become part of the circle of friends. For me, it happened as soon as I made a conscious effort. I've spent Thanksgiving, Christmas eve, Christmas, New Years and many non-holiday weekends with different families I've met this way, and they all adore me like their own kid. And given our chosen profession, there'll never be a shortage of stories to tell, even if you're shy, because there'll never, ever, ever be a shortage of questions from your curious new friends and family members. I've also become friends with many of the younger coaches I deal with, and the older ones have introduced me to their 20s-something sons and daughters too.

    Yet another note, given our societal structure, I'm really surprised to hear a girl having trouble finding friends. Seems social life should be so much easier for girls, given how they don't have to be the aggressor in an interaction.
     
  11. ballscribe

    ballscribe Active Member

    Kritter, c'mon. You're a reporter, right? You should be able to use those skills to find out just about anything you want about your town.
    At the very least, you must have archives where you work. And anything that might be of interest to you that's been discussed will be there. Get to work.

    This is not a small town you're in. And I'm a city girl, too. You'll probably find that people will be much more welcoming of someone who's a little socially awkward but with fine qualities than you would in a big city.

    You also mentioned you're only 30 minutes from home. Quick as you can, buy an old shitbox of a car and get there as much as you can, to fill in the blanks until you can get some things established. Or isn't there a bus?
    But don't do it too much. My first job was 1 1/2 hours away from home, and I spent so much time driving home on my days off that I really didn't give my new town a chance. It always felt like I was visiting, and I regret not getting more out of the three years I was there.


    I've been where you are. And I'm definitely not great on meeting new people, although I'm much better than I was, forced to be outgoing and call people out of the blue and meet new people just by the very nature of the job we do. I once moved 1,200 miles away, to a different country, leaving my fiancé two weeks after he proposed. The people I worked with weren't a particularly sociable group. It was a magazine and all the writers lived off-site. I was working with a group of copy editors and I was a writer by inclination and temperament, a little too colourful for them and rather enthusiastic. They would e-mail me from their pod five feet away rather than actually have a conversation (including when I left to wish me luck via e-mail, if you can believe that). Didn't really fit in.

    Luckily, my sport (tennis) was pretty big there. I got in touch with the head of the local chapter of the USTA before I moved. She was about my age. Being a chick who could play and also looked good in the skirt, I was involved with four leagues before I could even change my address. I also started playing golf more seriously because my schedule was four days on, three days off.

    There are always things to do. The hardest part is taking those first steps. You should have the resources available to find things that don't cost much, if anything. The volunteer thing sounds like a great place to start. Good luck and hang in there.

    And, as to the notion that it should be easier for girls, it really isn't. Especially if you're alone in a town.
    A guy can just go to a bar and hang out, or go anywhere and hang out, and no one thinks anything of it. A girl is just asking for trouble. You never know who's going to follow you home.

    That's why male sportswriters have a much better time on the road than we do. :D
     
  12. Kritter47

    Kritter47 Member

    It's hard to describe. If you want to Google it for all the relevant info, look up Asperger's Syndrome. I'm at the very, very high-functioning end of the scale.

    If I find someone with similar interests, especially if they're willing to accept me as kinda quirky, it's pretty easy for me to establish a friendship provided we're forced to interact. Classes were great for this, since you had to ask other people about assignments, tests and all that other fun stuff. Once I get talking, I'm okay. It's that finding groups of people with common interests and initiating a conversation that I really struggle with.

    The sensory side makes game coverage hard with all the noises, and especially when people sit right on top of you, but I've learned to do some little things to get me through it. Going to a bar and just sitting there, though, the mere thought makes my skin absolutely crawl.

    ballscribe - I'm 4 hours from home. I was 30 minutes from home in college, which I think is making the transition harder for exactly the reason you talk about.

    I've been through the archives and the current events section of our paper at a cursory level, but things I find seem to be oriented towards senior citizens or young parents. As I fall into neither of those categories, I got fairly discouraged with that route. Plus our archives really, really suck when they work at all.

    Perhaps I'm being too picky and ruling stuff out before I have a chance to check it out.
     
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